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THE FEELINGS CONVERSATION
Feelings being the third component of any difficult conversation is a vital though largely imperceptible part of the conversation and at times may be the only reason why the conversation is difficult.
Feelings being the third component of any difficult conversation is a vital though largely imperceptible part of the conversation and at times may be the only reason why the conversation is difficult.
There is the temptation to treat feelings as not an integral part of the conversation, as something that only beclouds the more important issues and must be weeded out in the quest to tackle what matters. NOT TRUE.
You must realize that avoiding your feelings does not make it go away, often it comes out in unintended ways which are usually not pleasant. You would find it useful therefore to engage your feelings. But to express your emotions isn't quite the same as being emotional.
Engage your feelings, question them, and discover for yourself what you truly feel beneath the veneer of the obvious wave of feelings rushing thru you. Do you perhaps feel frustration and embarrassment along with all the anger?
In expressing your feelings be sure to be doing just that and not resorting to judgments or attributions. It's all so easy to judge and blame but consider that it's more beneficial to express what you feel than to just accuse them cos then they just become defensive.
Expressing one's feelings properly may not always resolve the argument but it solves the "WHY" question and points you in the right direction in seeking an amicable resolution of the issues.
