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Feelings aren't fate. They're transient. We just don't know what to do with them and so we think if we acknowledge them, then we're stuck with them forever. But we're not. It's like being thirsty. I can just say I'm thirsty and drink water. Doesn't mean I now have a disorder. https://twitter.com/damoche/status/1262643683817598976
Thirst: your brains way of telling you you're dehydrated.
Label it: I'm thirsty
Fix it: drink water
Catastrophize: OMG I'm dying of thirst!
It happens more often: get checked & find out it's too much spicy food. Or a side effect of meds, or you're diabetic. Or you have polydipsia
Label it: I'm thirsty
Fix it: drink water
Catastrophize: OMG I'm dying of thirst!
It happens more often: get checked & find out it's too much spicy food. Or a side effect of meds, or you're diabetic. Or you have polydipsia
There's a whole spectrum of possibilities. And how you respond to that initial feeling depends on many factors. If you grew up in a society where you're not supposed to ever say it out loud because thirst is stigmatized, maybe you'll be quiet. Or you'll express it as normal...
...and the people around you, who also see being thirsty as normal will hear you, validate the feeling & offer you water. Or someone on Twitter will say you're weak for talking about being thirsty because they go for weeks without needing water. Or they'll share their experiences
Someone might say go check it out, my cousin was thirsty all the time & it turns out they had diabetes. Or they'll remind you that there are people more thirsty than you. Or maybe it's summer & you just never realized you get thirsty more when it's hot. Or you ask your doctor.
Usually how someone responds to you will depend on how they view life. I'm a therapist, so I'll probably ask how it makes you feel. An endocrinologist will respond differently. But you that you're feeling the feeling, you're the one who knows how it's doing you.
So, label your feeling correctly. Feel it. Talk about it. Might it mean something else? Maybe or maybe not. But you're not wrong for feeling a feeling. Your brain is talking to you.
Long story short: is there a possibility that by talking about feelings all the time, people might end up misdiagnozing or pathologizing? Perhaps. That's not enough reason to shut down normal expressions of feelings. Especially given how openly discussing them is newish.
Actually, you might want to examine your own feelings about other people's feelings.
Why does it bother me so much? Why am I so uncomfortable when I hear people talk about THEIR feelings? Why do I feel the need to mock experiences that differ from mine? Why am I dismissive?
Why does it bother me so much? Why am I so uncomfortable when I hear people talk about THEIR feelings? Why do I feel the need to mock experiences that differ from mine? Why am I dismissive?
It's tough out here. People are really going through things. What's the point of being mean and cruel? Why are we mocking people for struggling? For talking about their own lived experiences. Can we be kind?
