I woke up 4 weeks ago 2 question 4rm my friend "why do u keep having nightmares?".

This was q question I had no answer 2 cos I normally wake up in the morning with no clue of what happened in my sleep. I have also noticed other problems like insomnia, headaches, phobia

anxiety, sweating & sensations. These symptoms have been going on for 5 yrs+ which I will soon describe in details. In my mind, I feel I am suffering from PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) but wasn't sure. This is a mental health condition caused by a traumatic experience.

Pls don't call me a mad man yet. Just fasten your seatbelt. After browsing through NHS website, I found out that my current symptoms are synonymous with symptoms PTSD. Now I'm mental patient I said to myself. People will start seeing me as a "kolomental case". I sat down

to reflect on how I got to this stage in my life. What me? All of a sudden this feeling of guilt, irritability & self isolation engulfed me coupled with the feeling of always being "on edge" to react quickly in another crisis. Here's my story cos this might change sum1's life.

It all started in 2014, after my Master's degree program, I was struggling to make ends meet. As a fresh graduate with no UK working experience, getting into the job market is like asking President Buhari to proscribe Fulani Herdmen as terrorists. This is one problem

faced by some Nigerian students who end up taking menial jobs like security guards, labourers in construction sites, factory workers etc. I worked as a labourer & also packed cheese in a factory just to earn a living. One day I asked myself "dianyi is this how you'll

make it in life? After spending thousands of ££ to earn a Master's degree you are here working as a labourer? ". I wasn't bothered after all they said "there's dignity in labour". I woke up one day determined to get something better, I spoke to few friends who connected me to a

role located somewhere in Greenwich London. It was a "Support Worker" role where I had to work in a hostel where young people live. I had my interviews & was offered the role. Wow! Better pay, at least I am getting into the job market I said to myself. I started & 8 months

into the role, disaster struck. One of the tenants who flouted the hostel rules threatened to kill me & I invited the Police to have him arrested but he ran away. The Police officers took statement from me & I insisted on pressing charges for threat to life. I wrote

report on this & left the following day in the morning only to report by 6pm the same day for my night duty.
Warning readers discretion advised. This same dude came jumped the office fence, wearing face mask & a hooded jackets brought out a knife to kill me.

Not trained on how to protect myself in this situation, I swung into action immediately. Impulsively, I held him on his right wrist trying to take the knife off him. Fortune wasn't on my side that night cos slipped & fell on the floor. The rest is gory cos the dude was

intent on wasting my life. He stabbed me repeatedly 12 times to be precise & left me for dead. I had stab wounds on my shoulder, leg, lungs, stomach, arms, chest & this meant I had pierced lungs & suffered pneumothorax. Nerve damage, on my left arm but no knew the bastard

did more damage by piercing the right ventricle of my heart. As I was struggling, crying, I asked myself is this how my life will end ? Mazi said his last prayers, asked God for forgiveness of sins & collapsed having lost so much blood. I was told the Police arrived first

tried to keep me awake then the paramedics came who now stretched me into the waiting ambulance & was heading to a hospital in East London. Up till now the didn't know that I was stabbed in the heart. One of them decided they take me Kings College London. Upon handover,

I was barely awake but during scan they noticed I had suffered Cardiac tamponade is a serious medical condition in which blood or fluids fill the space between the sac that encases the heart and the heart muscle. This places extreme pressure on your heart.

The pressure prevents the heart's ventricles from expanding fully & the heart from functioning properly. I was dieing. The last thing i remembered was the Surgeon telling me "we are going perform surgery on you" I was told I, had a pierce on the right ventricle of my heart.

Surgery was successful & my family was informed while I was on ventilator intensive care unit that that I might not make it. That i might be brain dead or even stay in the hospital for 6months. There was no hope for Mazi but family & friends where firing prayers to

Oluwa for divine intervention. Around 2am the the following day, I woke up abruptly & the doctors & nurses were amazed. The removed the tubes & unaware I have had open heart surgery, I tried to stand up but the pains on my chest was so severe. Docs checked my vitals

& confirmed them okay, inwas moves to the male ward & that was when i started noticing what i had gone through. Inwas mentally drained cos I was not prepared for this. I was discharged 6 days later as against 6 months they projected. Mazi is alive but in severe state depression

anxious & angry with myself for allowing this. I didnt even thank God for keeeping me alive. What an ingrate I was. However, people who knew me were already giving testimonies in their churches on how I survived one the scariest kinfe attacks in the UK.

The bad effect of this horrific incident is what brought me to my present state. I have since recovered from the heart surgery. But the mental torture of seeing scars all over my body and the constant pains from the nerve damage I suffered on my left arm cause me so much trauma.

I have since gone under the knife doe nerve decompression surgery which was unsuccessful, had lidocaine infusion & Capsaicin 8% patch which is used alone or in combination with other medicines to treat pain. Capsaicin is a component of chilli peppers which gives their heat

sensation. All these were unsuccessful with the last option which was spial simulation which I opted not to gonfor cause it comes with risk of paralysis. The pain I feel on my left arm from my elbow, which radiates to my ring and little fingers is also a constant

reminder of trauma. The thought of going into a hospital scares me to death. I have spoken to only few people about this my traumatic experience but I feel being bold to share it will give me courage to seek the help the I need regarding treating the mental side of it.

Anytime i feel pains on my left arm the flashbacks continues. I am sharing thank God again for giving me 2nd chance, not many had it. I'm grateful cos I'm an unworthy of it. I'm also thanking NHS staff who saved my life, my family & friends who stood by me.

And to men out here , seek help when u need it.. I have been living in denial of this but I have to confront my fears by seeking the help I need to have good mental health.

Be inspired & have a blessed day

MaziPita

Sorry for my long thread.. @DoctorEmto here is the story u asked me to tagxyou on. @NkyEzenwa @AarinolaEniola @VivienNgozika

And i know many will be wondering what happened to him.. He was jailed for 13 years 4 carry knife with intent to cause grievous body harm but was acquitted of attempted murder. This is UK justice system. If this my thread was not an attempted murder then what classifies as 1?

Sorry for the multitude of typos...I wanted to write Spinal Simulation not spial simulation