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The Lord is so funny
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Last week I had a meltdown out of nowhere. I was doing something the Lord asked me to do and it just wasnât working. Like at all. So I was like âokay well maybe I donât hear You. Maybe Iâm making this all upâ
I mean, had a full blown attitude with the Lord. Done accused Him of speaking to everybody but mehttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face"> A temper tantrum if you willhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">
Why I got this text from my mentor this morning? (Mind you I didnât talk to her about this. This was all Holy Spirit)
Itâs funny for a couple of reasons. 1. The Lord was like âdonât even do that.â He ainât had to boss up on me like thathttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">
But secondly, this all revealed a couple of things about me that I donât like. But I know better so now I can do better.
When I got upset at God, I immediately disconnected and immediately felt like âwell maybe this isnât it.â It showed me that when I become upset, I lose intimacy and I pull back.
Like I literally do the opposite of love. I draw back, and I cut off all intimacy. I wonât talk to you. Iâll doubt if Iâm even supposed to be talking to you. Iâll feel like everything Iâve ever known is a lie. Drastic, but true.
So the Lord revealed to me that in my relationship with Him AND people. How will I have a successful relationship if I canât maintain intimacy when Iâm mad? How will I have successful relationship if I always feel like âmaybe this isnât rightâ when something is uncomfortable?
The Lord also showed me that I have an issue with stopping things once they stop. When this happened last week, I immediately went into a spiral because I was embarrassed. Like âwell Iâve already messed up now so might as well keep going.â
And in my embarrassment, even when I move on and regain intimacy, Iâll avoid revisiting what happened during my âspiralâ because I donât wanna be embarrassed about my rash reactions.
To be a responsible human in relationship, we have to draw near in times of hardship. We have to maintain intimacy.
When we maintain intimacy, it comforts the problem and creates an âus against the problemâ narrative as opposed to âus against each otherâ
And it also keeps you from going into a hole. So many times we continue to hurt people/sin because we feel weâve already done wrong and nothing can fix it.
So anyway, the Lord let me to Nehemiah 8. In Nehemiah 8, Ezra was reading the law to the children of Israel and they began to weep because of how much wrong theyâve done. They were embarrassed and ashamed of their wrong.
But baby listen to the response:
âThe joy of the Lord is your strengthâ
Where does the Bible say the joy of the Lord is housed????? QUICK. You know it! Answer quickly!
Thatâs right! In His presence, there is fullness of joy!
Is it making sense yet? Is it clicking? In order to maintain our strength (which is the joy of the Lord) we have to stay in His presence.
The strength to turn from your sins and your mistakes and from your hurt comes from being with Him!
âThe joy of the Lord is your strengthâ
The Lord finds joy in your relationship with Him. He finds joy in your repentance. He finds joy in you just wanting to be intimate with Him.
I believe that we often think we have to be a certain way to come to the Lord, we have to clean up. But we have NO STRENGTH to do that outside of Him.
The Lord delights in showing mercy! The children of Israel were UPSET because they were so ashamed and it was like NAH. God finds joy in you as His children and He wishes to help.
Idk. I say all this to say: God knows everything anyway. You see how He came to check on me when I was avoiding the conversation. You might as well draw near and let Him fix it. You wonât be able to on your own anyway.
And His desire is not to condemn you, itâs to fix you, with love from love!
Lastly, look how closely your relationship with God mirrors your relationship with others. The Lord will show you a lot about how you love by how you love Him and allow Him to love you. Thereâs a direct correlation.
Alright yâall be blessed. Go with God this weekhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="Yellow heart" aria-label="Emoji: Yellow heart">
