I'm going through machine translation xerox purgatory on the JR novels, and found this, which is theoretically about Cleopatra in context, but lbr, it's about Richard.

I'm going to cry why must his name be an actual word.

They keep talking about Octavian because they're discussing Roman history for whatever reason this series is fking weird, but I already know there's a character who shows up later named Octavia so I'm just like HM.

HMMM.

I'm pretty sure this entire story is foreshadowing I do not understand yet.

RICHARD.

This reminds me of Ash's lion bullshit in BFish.

YOU'RE NOT A GEM, RICHARD, YOU'RE A HUMAN BEING.

Wait, nvm, apparently Seigi was the one saying that.

*whispers* Richard is Nakataite.

WHAT EVEN IS THIS SERIES

"Kunzite" keeps getting translated as "lithium jade" for whatever reason and I'm trying not to giggle.

Seigi.

SEIGI.

Yeah this isn't gay

Seigi, I don't think he's commuting from China.

Seigi. Has. No. Brain. Cells.

Yeah, he would seem reasonable to someone as dumb as you.

Richard, he's trying not to throw food away, why are you being a jerk about it

Attention, machine translators. Attention.

Seigi, have you perhaps considered an elementary schooler is not looking at Richard and going "Wow, Him Hot"?

I have no idea why Seigi loving animals makes my heart melt, but it does.

...

This is EXCESSIVELY adorable.

He's not wrong.

HE'S NOT WRONG.

Cat's Eye is a looooot messier in the novels than the anime, wow.

SEIGI---

Seigi, m'dear, YOU are like this.

THEY LOCKED THE SAFE WITH THEIR KID'S BIRTHDAY AND WERE SHOCKED HE FIGURED OUT THE COMBINATION.

WHY IS EVERYONE IN THIS SERIES DUMB AF

Seigi no oh my God no

Seigi having absolutely no idea what he would do with extra money after paying his bills because it's "too unrealistic" is the most relatable mood.

Yeah, Seigi, one day you'll marry into money and have to figure this stuff out.

Consider Seigi is studying Econ and Richard threw 5 million yen at something because he was feeling sentimental, I'm going to have to say Seigi should probably be in charge of their personal finances after they get married.

Hiiiiiii there foreshadowing, love to see it.

FIVE. YEARS. OLD.

I love them I love them I love them I love them

I love Richard when he's weird.

Daaaaaaamn

They bicker about so much stupid shit.

I look forward to their arguments about how to decorate their house together.

A'ight, guys, I got up the Foxoholic English fan translation now. It's 3am. I'm going to sleep for a few hours before work. Back to the machine translations tomorrow.

I'm back to machine translations, and I *think* the translation mess made this gayer than it was originally.

Seigi: has had a Thing for older men since he was six.

Seigi: still thinks he's straight.

Is...that a Doraemon reference?

I am strangely sad that Seigi took back his asking Richard a question.

I don't know, maybe I relate too hard to the awkward insecurity of asking someone something only to be gently rebuffed and go into a spiral of "oh no, they don't like me as much as I though"

PROJECTING.

Richard: What is the POINT of knowing a language if I can't talk about shiny rocks in it?

Sometimes it is very easy to forget the Richard, in fact, loves gemstones. It is not just his job. It is not just a thing he is good at and knows a lot about that he fell into because Circumstances.

He genuinely loves and geeks out over this.

EXCUSE ME

Let's....what?

What in the hell are they talking about, Google translate

THEY STAYED OUT ALL NIGHT?

Seigi's ability to comprehend statistics as an Econ major concerns me.

(These are officially out of order, because the second half (?) of Garnet takes place before Opal, which is what I was reading last night. I'm trying to read this in order as much as possible, but a couple pieces have to be skipped right now for various reasons and come back to)

Seigi if you don't get married to Richard until you're in your 30s I'm going to kill you

(Richard is already in his thirties by part two, but he's only 28 in Garnet)

Richard, bb, you need a hug.

(Okay, on a serious note, Seigi met Richard when he was 19, so I don't want him INTO HIS THIRTIES before they get married because that's a long, long wait that will kill me, but

it's nice to have a series acknowledge that being in your thirties is not "old")

Literally leave him alone, woman, he's a jeweler. He's not there to talk about his face just because you're a customer.

Every time he says something like this I feel bad for saying he's pretty even though he's literally a fictional character.

Like....yikes?

Seigi now is really not the time

Richard what does this have to do with ANYTHING you were talking about TEA.

Unrelated, but I wonder how much of his mom and Nakata-san's dating period Seigi remembers.

Well that update didn't actually tie Garnet off. Back to Machine translations, jumping to volume three, Topaz.

HE HIRED YOU BECAUSE HE LIKES YOU, SEIGI.

Oh, machine translations....what the actual literal hell

He is, AN ENTIRE BOOK LATER, finally trying to explain he's not dating Richard.

It's got to have been like a month or two now and he's just getting around to this?

This is a hack job of explaining it, and it's not even because of the translation situation, he's just really bad at this.

Fortunately Tanimoto somehow understands the nonsense that comes out of his brain, which is why they are friends.

I don't actually know how many languages Richard speaks, either, but I think last I counted which I knew for sure he speaks, it was like...8? So I'm missing a couple, I guess.

Richard is complaining there's not enough sugar in his tea, which is the most on brand thing ever.

So I think. The entire point of Topaz. Near as I can tell. If I understood through the weird, weird translation issue.

Is about a married couple debating choosing the "objectively best" partner versus "their favorite" partner. Except rocks.

*stares in RichaSei*

They're sticking both stones on the same ring.

*stares in RichaSei harder*

"My sons are useless SOBs, I'm going to teach them to make tea"

what

"Look, I don't know, I just do what Richard tells me"

They don't have all of Topaz for...some...reason? My head hurts, I'm taking a nap before diving into Turquoise. Back in a bit.

"You know pretty much everything about him, good and bad"

Oh, Seigi, don't worry, you'll get there with Richard. Just not...in book three.

OOF I wonder if that's not even foreshadowing given how close London is.

"Okay, you obviously haven't have enough sweets"

SEIGI.

This is so CUTE wth.

(I'm not screenshotting it because I know who translated this and I'm not sure they would like it)

Yeah, volume three opens with Richard just. Acting. Very. Strange.

*Adds "people become cowards when the really like someone" to my "This is going to hurt like hell later" pile*

Oh my GOD. Seigi talking about traveling abroad to other countries with a "girl who loves gems"

*dying sounds*

The end of Topaz is A Lot and reading actual human translations always reminds me how much I have to be /missing/ in the machine translations.

Trying to decide if the anime just subbed in Shinomura for "Seigi's college friend" here, or if machine translate decided to mutilate his name.

WTF, machine translation.

This makes me laugh.

THIS ALSO MAKES ME LAUGH because Seigi is going to be saying basically exactly this in *checks watch* two or three cases? Soon.

I never really compared "random chick whose gem-dealer con artist BF ran off without a word" to Seigi before, but like.

HM.

There's something there.

I'm just gonna assume this is about Seigi's interfering meddlesomeness because I don't know what else it could be.

OI RICHARD STOP DEFENDING YOUR RUNNING OFF IN ADVANCE.

This is also probably about his ex. JFC.

I know the dude was using her for money, but I'm thinking about Richard's bank account

(Seigi is Not Happy at the idea that someone would date someone for money, fyi)

The novel version of Seigi's "GTFO He's Mine" from Turquoise

Ooookay I wasn't expecting this

Fsajflk Seigi almost got taken in by the scammers not by someone pretty trying to date him but by some old person asking for his help and he couldn't refuse THAT.

Oh, Seigi, how does anyone dislike you, you precious soul.

Richard is just progressively falling more and more apart as volume three progresses and it's honestly kind of disturbing.

He is Obviously Not Okay, and Seigi Knows He Is Not Okay but also Seigi doesn't know how to fix it and it's all very Yikes.

I have re-read this three times now and still can't fully parse it.

Something about Richard having strong inhibitions over his desires but I don't really get this "justice partners" bit.

This is adorable, though.

He really said the stupid "I'm from Shakespeare's country" bullshit in the novels.

Richard.

Apparently Seigi is learning how languages sound without understanding them?

Bakuyama stupidity is really what I need this evening, thank you.

THE NONSENSE LEVELS.

I just think this is interesting, I have no further musings on it.

Richard very seriously, why did you let him come

LET'S REFERENCE A CASE MARR HASN'T GOTTEN TO READ YET

:(

Awwww

This feels like it will mean something later.

I know the tree is sort of relevant when Richard runs off, but more than that.

Awwwww

You know, I didn’t quite get why Seigi decided to go on the Turquoise...thing...in the anime because “Richard was acting strangely” and he was worried and had never see him like that.

But God, he’s acting really strange and worrisome in the novel.

Reading it has Seigi’s “daijoubu...ja nai wa” from Jade stuck in my head

I think most of Jadeite is missing, and I would love to ACTUALLY READ IT, but at least I got the gist of what happens from the anime.

It's really not, Google Translate, but okay.

THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME FOR SOME REASON.

LIKE SHOVING A THIRD LAST NAME ON THERE FROM A THIRD LANGUAGE WOULD REALLY MAKE RICHARD'S NAME WORSE.

Seigi is like a candy machine sometimes.

He's...going...to cry...because he learned something new about Richard?

Is Richard protecting Seigi or himself here I wonder

Richard is going to develop diabetes I swear to God

YIKE.

I'm just going to keep tabs on this one every time Seigi gets frustrated with Richard's diet.

SEIGI

Things here:

1) Seigi trying to deal with his anger (important for later)

2) This is what Seigi considers an appropriate threat

3) It works

I am just very fond of the way Richard refers to his legal last name because it reminds me of the way I refer to my legal name.

BECAUSE HE WAS RAISED IN ENGLAND, SEIGI???

I???

WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THIS?

Oh, Seigi was like "Your mom's French, just call yourself French" and I guess Richard would probably have dual citizenship, but that's still---

not...

how it works.

Things:

1) It IS Richard's legal name, but he doesn't actually confirm that which honestly, if I didn't know better, would make me question it.

2) "I didn't feel particularly surprised when I regretted my question" Seigi, I love you.

Erm.

I appreciate Seigi turning this into a joke

Oh, Seigi, my sweet summer child.

Well, that's all of Jadeite, I guess. On...to Aquamarine?

DRAMA.

Yes, Tanimoto, it's called "You're aro af"

Richard did not sign up to hear about your love life problems, Seigi.

Richard. Did not. Sign up. To hear. About. Your love life problems.

This comes up so frequently in the novels that I'm mad the anime cut it.

Seigi, darling, you are alone with the pretty, pretty man every week.

I MEAN IT IS, IT'S JUST NOT AN ANSWER SEIGI CAN READ YET

Is...Seigi comparing his love life to the problem of world peace, because Jesus, talk about dramatic.

THEY KEEP REFERRING TO EMERALD BUT EMERALD ISN'T AVAILABLE TO SHOVE THROUGH GOOGLE TRANSLATE AND I'M GOING TO SCREAM.

IT SOUNDS SO INTERESTING.

"If Richard was a rose arch"

"IF RICHARD WAS A ROSE ARCH"?

Ooof.

....you know.

Tanimoto is Seigi's age.

Homura is about Richard's, I think (it says he's in his late twenties).

This is.

Hm.

Seigi I'm going to cry, your grandmother gave you shitty advice.

Also I'm sorry Richard's not there for you.

This is machine translated to hell, but it came out funny.

My aro QUEEN.

There were a variety of reasons I didn't especially like Aquamarine when I watched the anime, but upon reflection, I'm inordinately pleased that the one with my birthstone is also the one with Tanimoto's Aro Monologue

The Aro EXPERIENCE right here.

This is...

Seigi---

Seigi, Richard does all of those things.

Are you--

are you aware of this?

WOW RICHARD.

Volume three is like.

Half "Richard is a quickly shattering mess"

and

Half "Seigi gets unreasonably angry at things"

The translation xerox has landed on giving Richard's ex masculine pronouns, which is A Choice.

There is a lot more detail to why his ex broke up with him explained here, but I'm not sure...how much of it is accurate.

What I can figure out is that she had no insecurities about being told she picked Richard for his face, because she knows she didn't, but she can't genuinely convince herself she didn't pick him for his money.

"Good for you," Richard, but I'm still not her fan.

I don't LIKE it when people hurt my faves.

*adds to pile of "this is going to hurt later"*

Richard: "You can't tell the person you love most how you feel, but you can sit here and make pudding tirelessly."

Hey, Richard, what if I told you--

This.

This hurts.

GAH.

The novels don't juxtapose the aquamarine and lapis lazuli as strongly as they are in the anime.

I LOVE YOU, SEIGI.

I really hope Seigi figures out how to confess romantic feelings like a semi-functional human before he tries it on Richard.

I mean, after all these years I'm pretty sure Richard is fairly fluent in Seigi-ese but still.

I just wanna say, Seigi is like. Really botching the confession here. But Tanimoto's complete inability to parse what he's saying is ALSO an Aro Mood.

Seigi just really wants to see Richard.

Homura: I totally thought Richard was going to sabotage your chances with Tanimoto out of jealousy

Seigi: He's like my brother.

Homura: .........k

Seigi: oh shit wait

Hey wait, did Richard inviting him to that last dinner not happen in the novels, or did it get chopped in the translation?

Did they just like....import that from Tanzanite or something?

Oh my Goddddd Seigi

Seigi.

How long.

Have you spent.

Staring.

At.

Richard's.

Eyes.

Did.

Did Richard want Seigi to give him the other half of the rock?

This is.

Excessively romantic.

*keening noises*

I think this case was supposed to be in volume four, not tagged on the end of volume three.

But either way, it seems to take place at the end of four since /they're talking about Christmas/

I feel entirely overwhelmed.

(That white sapphire is in the safe, too, isn't it?)

Just him taking such careful precious care of this gift from Richard that reminds him of Richard that's fragile and precious, and Richard suggested destroying to provide Seigi practical value--

I AM GOING TO DIE.