Remind me to never agree to be the only brown woman on an organizing committee every again. I've been in tears nearly all day. I wish I had even one person to back me up when I try raise concerns about the experiences of mathematicians of color. I feel like I'm going crazy.

And for anyone reading this and patting themselves on the back for being better than my co-organizers: if you aren't actively interrogating the privilege you hold in your math/academic spaces and working to make the spaces you inhabit more inclusive, then guess what?

You don't have anything to congratulate yourselves on! My co-organizers are very nice people and from what I can tell care about diversity/inclusion as much or more than the average mathematician.

But they are not being as pro-active about elevating bipoc voices or about considering their blindspots as they should be. And I'm exhausted.