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finding god by being made to hate yourself is not the one.
i wish my mother didn’t project her self hate this way. i kinda wish she hadn’t discovered god.i don’t really think it was god.
and not feel like I wish I was in them alone. or maybe i’m the bad one or perhaps i feed it it.
and not feel like I wish I was in them alone. or maybe i’m the bad one or perhaps i feed it it.
i remember a period when i was attacked on the daily and it wasn’t anything i did.
also my aunt tells me that they had all this freedom as young women, boyfs could visit etc etc it’s not even about that bs, it’s about the feeling. the physical feeling.
also my aunt tells me that they had all this freedom as young women, boyfs could visit etc etc it’s not even about that bs, it’s about the feeling. the physical feeling.
and on that note fuck her.
i am about to begin more therapy BUT that oppressive isolation of understanding dysfunction while you are in it is also not the one.
boundaries. nobody’s got ‘em, and who needs ‘em when we can scapegoat in lieu of growth amirite ladies?
am i not allowed to express myself? https://twitter.com/howaboutbeth3/status/1262448529290801153
boundaries. nobody’s got ‘em, and who needs ‘em when we can scapegoat in lieu of growth amirite ladies?
am i not allowed to express myself? https://twitter.com/howaboutbeth3/status/1262448529290801153
i love the selective attention to tweets and retweets too.
“it is not indicative of dysfunction or grudges held at all.” she said sarcastically. https://twitter.com/sayitvalencia/status/1262449364183781385
“it is not indicative of dysfunction or grudges held at all.” she said sarcastically. https://twitter.com/sayitvalencia/status/1262449364183781385
i retweeted that one bc it was pertinent and relevant but according to the feedback i just received articulating my awful dynamic with my mum means i don’t get treated like family.
but if we are keeping it a buck it was always going to play out like this. always.
but if we are keeping it a buck it was always going to play out like this. always.
an unhealthy relationship dynamic is created by those in the relationship, it has nothing to do with anyone else.
“oh no baby what is you doin?”
it takes two to fuck it up. it takes two to make it better and it takes a lil emotional maturity to understand.
“oh no baby what is you doin?”
it takes two to fuck it up. it takes two to make it better and it takes a lil emotional maturity to understand.
Am i family?
can you talk to me?
what is your issue?
can you hear yourself?
what is your problem?
can it be solved l?
are you helping?
would you appreciate being treated in the same way?
Are they family?
can you talk to me?
what is your issue?
can you hear yourself?
what is your problem?
can it be solved l?
are you helping?
would you appreciate being treated in the same way?
Are they family?
1. i terrify people
2. they can’t slag me off if i join the clique
3. if i was seen & accepted as part of the family they’d have no issues inviting me to the group, but i’m not part of the family.
3b. and i was ok with that.
2. they can’t slag me off if i join the clique
3. if i was seen & accepted as part of the family they’d have no issues inviting me to the group, but i’m not part of the family.
3b. and i was ok with that.
4. if people believe i am angry with them why don’t they have the maturity to discuss it with me?
4b.what does being angry with my mum have to do with anything?
4c . Why would it lead to being excluded from planning a funeral?
4d. Why does this drama play out like this?
4b.what does being angry with my mum have to do with anything?
4c . Why would it lead to being excluded from planning a funeral?
4d. Why does this drama play out like this?
4e. Are my feelings/is my experience not valid?
4f. how is this not abuse?
5. Why am I the only one using reason?
i fell asleep from the stress of dealing with this, like, my body and my mind shut down. last time i was under this much stress i had a stroke.
4f. how is this not abuse?
5. Why am I the only one using reason?
i fell asleep from the stress of dealing with this, like, my body and my mind shut down. last time i was under this much stress i had a stroke.
they were partially involved in creating that stress. i don’t have the capacity to endure turmoil without risking physical harm to myself.
wny does my safety threaten people so? forget safety, why does my presence threaten people? how can i harness it for goodness.
wny does my safety threaten people so? forget safety, why does my presence threaten people? how can i harness it for goodness.
how can i harness the pain/struggle/misfortune for goodness?
by the end of this thread i started to feel empowered, to see the possibility of goodness, to find the compliment in an insult, to hear the still small voice.
HATE going through it, wish i didn’t, love the self love
by the end of this thread i started to feel empowered, to see the possibility of goodness, to find the compliment in an insult, to hear the still small voice.
HATE going through it, wish i didn’t, love the self love
