Alright so something is bugging me. I look through My WhatsApp and realized I'm a member of at least 7 "women's" groups. All dedicated to wives/mothers. From 'Married Babes in Christ' to 'Peaceful Wives' to 'How to Love your Husband' to 'True Submission'*

Then in my husband's phone I noticed nothing of the sort . If it's not an 'Old Boys of X School' WhatsApp group then its 'Investors Club', 'How to Hammer', 'Men with Money', 'Politics Gist', 'FX Exchange', 'How to Get Out of Naija Fast' etc etc

honestly it blew my mind. I'm not even mad at him. I'm mad at myself. Why are we SO OBSESSED with our husbands? WHY? It's like every waking moment and spare brain cell is dedicated to thinking about how to live with them, how to love them, how to please them

While their own minds are busy thinking about anything but us.

So I started thinking. Is this the curse of Eve? When God said "your desire will be for your husband"(Genesis 3 v 16). Is that what it meant? Ask the average married woman if she's happy or unhappy. If she says 'unhappy', chances are it's cuz of him

But didn't Jesus come to free us from all of this? I always thought that we didn't have to live under the burden of the original sin because Christ came to set us free from ALL forms of slavery

This can't be Godly. It just doesn't feel right in my spirit to be so obsessed with hubby. As Christians, we too are called to spread the Gospel and tell ALL about the good news of the Lord. Our happiness should rest in knowing we are doing God's work

If i place my happiness, my every waking thought, my peace...in the hands of a man, I will only be disappointed. Only God can do all. Only God can heal all pains.

So why do our churches dedicate so much ENERGY to 'training' women on how to be good wives and mothers, as though our salvation depends on it? True salvation is in giving your life to Christ. Not to your husband

This week one of my numerous 'married women' groups sent a message talking about how much a woman should be praying for her husband every single day. I am not against that but I am yet to see any group telling men to pray for their wives like this.

The group was even advising that women not let men see them being successful. I was just shocked. The Proverbs 31 Wife is a BOSS babe. She owns multiple properties. Her entire house is clothed in rich cloth. Her husband praises her for it.

So what is the biblical basis for advising women not to work hard or shine? Yes, you should not be boastful. But that applies to both men AND women.

and where o where are the WhatsApp groups advising men to encourage their wives? Where are the men's groups? Where did the Church forget that BOTH men and women need heavy counsel? Why are we so obsessed with making women so obsessed about men?

When women are single, we stress them to pray for a husband. When women get husbands, we stress them to stay obsessed with these husbands. This can't be right. I don't see anything Jesus said that encourages this kind of culture

and frankly I want to reject this curse of Eve that mandates that a woman's desire will be to control her husband (and telling a woman she can bring her husband under control through prayer doesn't feel right either). I don't want to control anyone.

I just want to live for God. Not man or society.

I don't want to turn my marriage into an idol.

I don't want to make my husband a god in my life.

Let me know your thoughts ladies. I just feel like we women could have cured Cancer 30 times over, built a 1000 orphanages, fed the hungry, won souls for Christ and cared for the sick better, if we would just spare our brains from our obsessions

and don't worry I changed the names of NH's Whatsapp groups