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THE CASE FOR AFRICAN(NIGERIAN) PARENTS...
{DISCLAIMER: This post conveniently excludes wicked, abusive or absent parents. Thank you}
You can't give what you don't have.
An outrageously, excruciatingly long thread
...
{DISCLAIMER: This post conveniently excludes wicked, abusive or absent parents. Thank you}
You can't give what you don't have.
An outrageously, excruciatingly long thread
...
When I first went to school in the SW, I met several people whose grandparents were professors, 3 to 4 generations of educated people. To me, they seemed more advanced & adaptable to life.
Me, one of my parents were among the first to obtain formal education in the family &
Me, one of my parents were among the first to obtain formal education in the family &
The other was the 1st generation to get tertiary education.
Where am I going with my story?
Our generation's biggest challenge is the absence of history-personal & collective.
It's why we were easily swayed by the "No shoes" story & swept away by the reformed Democrat narrative
Where am I going with my story?
Our generation's biggest challenge is the absence of history-personal & collective.
It's why we were easily swayed by the "No shoes" story & swept away by the reformed Democrat narrative
Ever asked your parents what their childhoods were ???
Do you even care?
Who do you think hugged & kissed them when they came back from the stream early in the morning b4 running long miles to school?
Who told them they were proud of them when their backs hurt from chopping
Do you even care?
Who do you think hugged & kissed them when they came back from the stream early in the morning b4 running long miles to school?
Who told them they were proud of them when their backs hurt from chopping
Firewood after school?
Who helped them with arithmetic and English language homework?
Heck, they weren't even speaking the same language
Who thought about their mental health when their mother's co-wife and father's favourite wife mocked them & starved them?
Who helped them with arithmetic and English language homework?
Heck, they weren't even speaking the same language
Who thought about their mental health when their mother's co-wife and father's favourite wife mocked them & starved them?
Who lifted their spirits when their fathers didn't know their names out of 20 other children esp when they were not the firstborns?
This was one or two generations ago...
Who stood by them through their hard times & failures?
Who encouraged them when the road was rough?
This was one or two generations ago...
Who stood by them through their hard times & failures?
Who encouraged them when the road was rough?
Have you ever asked them about their dreams and aspirations?
Do you think they didn't want to be inventors or popstars too???
Do you think they didn't want to fly the world too???
Do you think they didn't want to be rich???
Do you think they didn't want to be inventors or popstars too???
Do you think they didn't want to fly the world too???
Do you think they didn't want to be rich???
Who held their hands through miscarriages & loss of parents and siblings.
They were probably introduced to smart phones & internet same time as you but you still scam them to buy & download Wazzap for them.
Do you know how hard it was for them as young couples & young parents?
They were probably introduced to smart phones & internet same time as you but you still scam them to buy & download Wazzap for them.
Do you know how hard it was for them as young couples & young parents?
When I was born, one of my mother's closest friend also had a baby in the US.
She sent a letter with my picture and received a reply 6months later with the lady's 4month old daughter's picture
Today, your grandmother in the village can virtually be present in the labour room!
She sent a letter with my picture and received a reply 6months later with the lady's 4month old daughter's picture
Today, your grandmother in the village can virtually be present in the labour room!
You probably had ADHD as a child and were severely beaten bcos they thought you were stubborn.
Would your childhood have been better if this diagnosis was made?
Probably yes...
How many child psychiatrists existed in Nigeria at that time?
Could they afford therapy for you?
Would your childhood have been better if this diagnosis was made?
Probably yes...
How many child psychiatrists existed in Nigeria at that time?
Could they afford therapy for you?
How about career choices?
They watched their classmates with professional courses get steady jobs with perks
Those who studied single honors courses ended up as teachers who retired with little to nothing from the civil service & didn't want this to be your reality...
They watched their classmates with professional courses get steady jobs with perks
Those who studied single honors courses ended up as teachers who retired with little to nothing from the civil service & didn't want this to be your reality...
That's why your choice of dancing or arts history or physics or studying a single flower didn't make much sense to them esp if you had good grades.
It's sad that the system failed them after all these years & convinced them that medicine, law and engineering were the ways to
It's sad that the system failed them after all these years & convinced them that medicine, law and engineering were the ways to
A better life.
And the political landscape?
While I fault them for rolling over and letting the exclusive rich parents generation run roughshod over them, I get them in a way...
Ever heard of the student union activists of the 70s and 80s who demanded social justice & good
And the political landscape?
While I fault them for rolling over and letting the exclusive rich parents generation run roughshod over them, I get them in a way...
Ever heard of the student union activists of the 70s and 80s who demanded social justice & good
Governance???
Go read about it.
Imagine how much impact they'd had if they had social media to amplify their voices.
Then the military happened
And they watched their bravest friends gunned down and locked up.
And decided to choose you & peace
Maybe that was a wrong choice!
Go read about it.
Imagine how much impact they'd had if they had social media to amplify their voices.
Then the military happened
And they watched their bravest friends gunned down and locked up.
And decided to choose you & peace
Maybe that was a wrong choice!
And what about the single parents? Widows? Widowers?
Those who did the work and carried the load 2 people often struggled with?
Don't they deserve some accolades too?
Those who did the work and carried the load 2 people often struggled with?
Don't they deserve some accolades too?
I'm not saying African parents were Swid engels and faultless.
And YES, they could have done much better...
But check it, the parents who seemed kinder and better were often richer and more exposed than they were.
Today, you have parent coaching classes, seminars, webinars
And YES, they could have done much better...
But check it, the parents who seemed kinder and better were often richer and more exposed than they were.
Today, you have parent coaching classes, seminars, webinars
Psychologists, like minded friends, support systems and a vast array of resources at the click of a button to make you a better parent.
I daresay if your child ever fails a class, or makes the wrong choice,
You are a complete FAILURE!
Harsh right, cut them some slack pls
I daresay if your child ever fails a class, or makes the wrong choice,
You are a complete FAILURE!
Harsh right, cut them some slack pls
Anyway, a quick solution.
You have "great communication skills" as your strengths on your CV, use it dears.
TALK IT OUT!
Make PowerPoint presentation, Excel spreadsheets, anything...
List their wins and failures.
Tell them how they hurt you and how they can make it better
You have "great communication skills" as your strengths on your CV, use it dears.
TALK IT OUT!
Make PowerPoint presentation, Excel spreadsheets, anything...
List their wins and failures.
Tell them how they hurt you and how they can make it better
And if that doesn't work, come here and drop their names and addresses and we'll send some boys to rough them up small.
And you can comfort them afterwards as the good child that you are.
Then get some THERAPY, believe me it's helpful.
And you can comfort them afterwards as the good child that you are.
Then get some THERAPY, believe me it's helpful.
Anyway, I hope these parents become more internet savvy
And use Twitter more.
So they can see their children talk trash about them.
And use the money they wanted to spend on you for a masters degree
On a well deserved vacation to Maui after the Rona
...
As you were please.
And use Twitter more.
So they can see their children talk trash about them.
And use the money they wanted to spend on you for a masters degree
On a well deserved vacation to Maui after the Rona
...As you were please.
