Know The Emoji - A Thread
(Learn what each emoji means, and how & when to use them)


Reaction of a virgin bride when she sees a cock for the first time in her life, on her wedding night.

Gender: Female only

/ It’s a special one. One can use it only once in her lifetime.

Your tweet is so embarrassingly lame that it doesn’t even deserve a response. But because I sometimes think of you when I masturbate, I will have to keep you flattered, so here, take this, stupid red hearts over my eyes.

Gender: Unisex

/ Can be used as frequently as needed.

I don’t even fucking understand what you just said. But I’m not going to ask for a clarification, because that will make me look like a fool (which I’m in any case). I’m just going to put up this thumbs-up sign, so that you think that I agree with the shit you just said.

When two ugly people have to talk to each other, then both of them will have to flash this emoji to each other in quick succession. It basically means:

Humne tumko nahi dekha,
Tumne humko nahi dekha.
Paise??
Hoe hum tum sanam,
Hoe saaton janam,
Hoe milte rahe.
Lelo paise!!

Used to express joy on seeing one's sexting partner after a gap of few hours.

Hoe saathi re,
Tere bina bhi kya jeena,
Tere bina bhi kya jeena,
Dangal mein, mangal mein,
Iss gutter si jungal mein,
Tere bina hilaa hilaa ke nikal gaya tha pasinaa,
Hoe tere bina bhi kya jeena.

Girls use it when they are thinking: He's kind of cool. But so are Ramu & Kallu. I need to keep his hopes alive, and my options open.

Guys interpret it as: Oooo.. She wants to talk dirty too. Let me quickly send her dick pics in her DM.

I'm a big chomu. I've to go out with an umbrella even when it's not raining, kyun ki mohalle ke bacchon ko bhi pata hai main kitna bada chomu hoon, toh woh kankad phenk ke marte hai mujhe.
But you guys don't know all this. Toh style maarne ke liye main twitter pe aa jata hoon.

When a girl needs to recruit twitter idiots to take part in a nonsense twitter gutter fight for her, she can use this emoji. Works every time.

Text cheez kya hai,
Aap yeh kiss emoji lijiye.
Ek baar mera yahan,
Bas ek baar mera yahan,
Kutta-billi mein saath dijiye.

Ye lo Bra & Panty emoji! Taki tumhara jaanwar jaag jaye aur tum kuch tharki baat bolo, uske baad main sab ko apna chutia feminism dikhati hoon.

/ Use not more or less than once a month for best results.

Though I’m a bloody fool, I've a PhD in copy-pasting, and I have google. But I’m about to exceed the data-limit on my Rs.149-Jio-Plan, so I am retiring from the discussion and putting this up for now. Will be back to spewing nonsense once the data-limit resets.

Gender: Unisex

Main jab tak kisi ki dhoti uttarte nahi dekh loon, mujhe hansi-wasi nahi aati hai. Tumne jo bola hai, mujhe koi khaas funny-wunny nahi lagi, but baki sab hans rahe hai, toh mein bhi hans leta hoon. Nahi toh log sochenge ki I have a bad sense of humor.

/ Use liberally.

Use in below situations:

I wanted to abuse him too, but mere gand mein dum nahi tha. Thanks!

My dog is puking after seeing your ugly Paw Bhaji pic!

Fuck! Another shitty poem!

BC kahan se chori kar rahe ho ye quotes? Website ka link hi de do, khud jaake padh lenge hum log!

/
People use this when they feel like saying “Sala chutia, tumko Twitter nahin jail mein hona chahiye!”

This one is a personal favourite, because it conveys nothing. It’s like shooting blanks.. it’ll make a noise but it won’t kill.

Few common uses:
- to piss-off someone in a polite manner
- to confuse the other person
- as a filler when you don’t have anything else to say

“Baby dekh lo maine manjan kar liya hai, ab please tum woh kiss wala emoji bhej do.. taki main apna baki kaam bhi kar lun.”

"I know I'm totally out of line here. I've no clue how you will react to it. I'm adding this emoji so that it will make it easier for you to ignore my nonsense. But my real hope lies in you receiving it favorably, and we taking our garbage to the next level."

It’s a wink. It’s not a wink. It’s a wink. It’s not a wink.
I stuck my tongue out to confuse you. ‘Cause I want you to keep thinking about it all day and all night. But if you don’t give a fuck about it, and I know you don’t, I’m going to start using it in triplicates!

“Click on LIKE! Do it baby! Give me a sign! God please! I have a folder filled with stolen pictures of huge cocks, I’m dying to show them to you in DM.”

“Darling main hila raha hoon, can’t type long with one hand. Tum bhi koi tharki emoji ya GIF dalo na, mera kaam jaldi ho jayega.”

“Yes, a yellow-heart for you. I’ve checked on the internet, it stands for friendship. But bura mat manna sweetheart, I’m not using red-hearts for anyone here, it’s to be safe, so that I can explain if one of my dm-masturbation-partners starts getting jealous.”

Use this when you feel like saying “BoseDK, ab puri story theek se bata.”

/ Gender neutral. Use as needed.

“I love the low-grade-roadside-level humor in your tweet so I had to comment. But these other people here with zero-level IQs will judge me if I laughed like a normal person. Well just treat this overflowing emoji as a metaphor for the abundant admiration that I have for you.”

A few special emojis designed to express some complex emotions:

Gandoo, talk some sense!

Gand marwao. I can’t help you with this.

Toh kya main nachoon? Chutia sala!

Kutte ka pilla!

Sala bhikari kahin ka!

Bhai dimaag ki maa chod-di tune!

Tilted-Laughter! Always to be used in sets of fours or fives.

Sometimes it means:
“Madar-chod, DesireGirl_36_24_36 is my maal, har baar bitch me mat aaya kar when I’m talking to her.”

Also use in other situations where you can’t think of anything witty to say.