beach bastards campaign thread. a hugbear a gnoll a tiefling and a tiefbolg all walk into an inn. also i play a hugbear (hobgoblin-bugbear) named nairobi shrike 2nd lvl barbarian so far
so i figured since im remaking the thread i should also talk about setting! the overall campaign setting is Goldaipi a collection of island nations in the Bolnora Sea! our campaign actually starts in Aberdir a city on the island of Irolis in the Relili Coalition
first session recap! festival time!!! allium (tiefling bloodhunter) arrives via ship gets gnoll quest, nairobi after stowing away a few weeks back goes out to have fish for the second time EVER. magren (gnoll druid) plans to steal food thats only here for a limited time
then the priests start doing a ceremony for the turtle hatching yay!!!!! then STEAM MEPHITS come out, we fight, nairobi doesnt land a single hit (tragic), and the priest lady thanks us its sick as fuckkk. then we find a rock w a weird ass symbol (squid bitch eating the world)
so we go to the library to find out more yay! the librarian guy (thierry) speaks sylvan (rad) and says some shit about this is the most important thing ull do in ur lives. idk honestly i was muted during this part to take a break and missed some of it. then he leads nai to
sylvan books she tries to steal them and he gets a little mad!! the trio THEN leave to go kill gnolls (the gnoll clans are fighting, quest given by chancellors advisor Tyra) and also do the weird lobster lady (shes evil) squid sidequest along the way :)
also. none of them have introduced themselves yet. its going GREAT
the bad luck streak continues !!!!!!
btw we met our first like. REALLY cool npc and she cuts out the organs of gnolls to use in spells and is teaching nai abt how she casts spells. i love her her names belladonna like the poisonous plant
RECAP! the party goes into the woods and after a day of traveling sets up camp. on watch allium hears gnolls and fighting so the party sneaks up and fights three gnolls going after a firbolg draconic sorcerer belladonna, she collects organs, allium cuts out gnoll eyes for nai
bella is sweet enough to give nai a tooth from the gnoll for nais necklace and we all head back to bellas house! she teaches nai about the spells she casts and we all sleep! bella ends up trying to draw magrens anatomy in her sleep and its super weird but anyways we go
we boat over a river and find a entrance hole into water channels of the enemy gnoll clan (btw theres a generations long gnoll war, magren was part of the other clan) and nai goes down there and tries to grapple and manacle a guy. that doesnt work so we fight again!
bella ends up casting fog cloud so we all have disadvantage but its fine we kill 2 and properly manacle the third to interrogate. nai gets a tooth he spits out. its a great great time!!!!!
oh yeah thats where this session ended
OK SESSION THREEEEEEEE. we explored the room the gnolls came from. got some coconuts, meat, necklaces (one magic one just expensive) fox corpses and a barrel of gunpowder! nai opened one of the coconuts to get coconut milk for the prisoner but he died when she dropped him whoops!
so we travel back up the hole we came from to sleep next to the tree, allium taking first watch when 5 gnolls try and climb up the hole. after what feels like a long fight where we pushed them down the hole a bunch we got 10 more gnoll ears and nai and belladonna took 2nd watch
nai gives bella fog cloud feedback and asks her to teach her some giant as a suprise for Allium! bella agrees and with a 19 int check nai can understand thr giant alphabet and can understand written giant enough to be able to roll checks to understand!! super fun :D
the party decides to go to the ruins which are said to be haunted and bella says shes not going bc theres a ghost and she saw it + it screamed in her ear but she gives directions. so nai getting her FIRST passing survival check to tell which way is north!! so they head off!
btw the magic necklace ended up being a necklace of Valkur the captain of the waves that lets the wearer cast shape water once per long rest :) the expensive necklace was had an uncut amethyst so overall worth 200 gold pieces
btw we also found money and stuff but nairobi doesnt care about money so she let allium and magren split it in halfsies. were having super fun times yay beach bastards campaign !!!!!
also. i want to point out nai has a 14 int, 16 wis so shes not dumb i just have absolutely no thoughts ever. everytime i play dnd i rub my two braincells together to try and think of plans and instead theyre all bad and theres a fire in my brain where the good plans should be
ok session 4 the party agrees to meet up w bella in 3 days and starts to make their way towards the ruins with a 22 survival from nai. we go over an awful bridge and the party complains bc its rickety and in gorellik (enemy gnoll pack) territory and we cant see the bottom
and also there were a bunch of like broken bridges under it like they had proviously fallen apart and underground tunnels (probably from gorelliks) but we make it across and find tracks of a humanoid and small hooveprints. nai recognizes the hooveprints to be of a centaur child
so we follow the tracks excited by prospects of a baby centaur and come upon a bowl on a stump a large gnarled tree in a clearing. after all of us failing perception, arcana, survival checks and allium forgetting he can just. detect magic nai is all fuck it and picks up the bowl
and well. the tree starts attacking us. allium disguises himself as the tree, still drops to like two hit points. nai + magren both fail persuasion checks and as we all agree to haul ass out of here before we eat dirt figures emerge out into the clearing and the tree stops
a young centaur, a dryad, a wood elf enter. seeing the dryad and wood elf being apprehensive nai drops her weapons and speaks to the dryad in sylvan. she says shes of the fey guard and got transported here and that these are good people helping her. this gives her advantage.
even w advantage she still fails her persuasion rolling a 3. she still keeps talking to the dryad and then we have to take a break bc our dm thought dryads werent like. sentient beings and were just like summoned servants. it was very confusing for a minute
ANYWAYS. lauren does some take backsies and its ok again. the kinda stony dryad who doesnt really respond much is named ferox. allium likes him and is embarrassing and nai mouths sorry and makes a heart with her hands. he turns away.
we are at the monastery tears of the silver mother worshipping the earthmother! (the monastery we were told to go to show them the squid lady rock by the librarian) we find out the wood elf groundskeeper is heia + the centaur girl is lucky
we also meet 3/4 of the other dryads caltha trillis and nemea all very nice and live and help out here heia tells us caltha is a refugee from a feywild attack we meet benny the firbolg archivist here and gunther the monastery head. benny talks to us abt the rock,
heia getting injured by reptilian creatures in the ruins + shows us an annotated map in giant we ask if we can get a copy of the map and he says he can make one but itll take a day and were like sure thanks heres a coconut magren goes to find deer and they arent scared +
a baby deer eats out magrens hand. its awesome. while this cute ass shit goes on nairobi goes to talk to caltha the youngest like teenageish dryad. she asks abt the attack on the feywild she was in and realizes they were attacked by the same people and specific person
nai finds out that they were however part of two different attacks and caltha says the fey guard were the first to fall meaning attacks continue in her absence. she and caltha bond over confusion over how humans smell and hear with such small noses and ears. its fun!!!
also allium looks for daggers he lost in the tree fight for the entire hour magren plays with the deer and nai talks to caltha. and doesnt find them. and nairobi gathers them up to ask abt heia and the attack at the ruins we all level up to lvl 3 and the session ends!!!!
CLARIFICATION. i was stupid and wrote earth mother instead of revered mother. listen to lauren
allium rolling a nat 20 on his flirting check after flirthing absolutely AWFULLY. these two were made for each other
allium brushing his hair and then having ferox comb it and guiding him thru it.....GAY PEOPLE
jasper and i were just asked to step out the voice channel....UHHHHHH
SESSION 5 BABY. we start w nai telling caltha allium is into ferox and its going to be entertaining to watch so caltha joins the crew for the day to watch the shits. we also see caltha has a pink glittering fox fey familiar named juniper
we also meet the last dryad a swampy one w algae for a beard named Ihrone. He’s super cool also a gardener who trims hedge bushes. literally so rad
we go find ferox heia and lucky in the kitchen preparing dinner. heia says she cant talk to us rn bc shes cookimg and we can talk to summer (tabaxi druid) or syljor (wood elf monk) about the attack by reptilians and also talk to meia for holy water/oil
we talk to syljor for his account and he says he saw purple many eyed lizard creatures who attacked them with a bite and breathed to hurt them. (allium monster check says banshee) awe go to talk to summer next but she is in the middle of a ritual so we go to the shrine
meia is in the middle of a thing with holy water and candles on the floor...which is ruined by magren knocking over tons of candles (nat 1) and allium accidentally lighting his tail on firefor a hot minute. we do however each get a flask of holy water and a pitcher of holy oil
then we all have dinner w nairobi setting a romantic (but unsubtle) ambience by druidcrafting flowers falling around ferox and allium while theyre eating romantic styles as ferox completely ignores everything around him before dinner ends
caltha then offers to teach nairobi to make a fey familiar like juniper which she happily accepts making a purple glittery scavenger owl named coconut!! while THIS is going on allium finds ferox and head in hands flirts SO BADLY. like deadass we were all sitting there EMBARRASSED
and then we find out ferox is stony indifferent and literal minded as hell so it works. THEN allium rolls a nat 20 charisma check so the AWFUL flirting is WORKING for ferox. so then allium joins ferox for night watch which was....head in hands....we were freaking tf out
allium lets his hair out the ponytail and starts to comb it out. Ferox reaches out and asks if he can touch alliums hair (party freakout) and then allium asks if he wants to comb his hair for him (party freakout). ferox needs help bc hes a dryad with no hair so allium guides him.
its was SWEEEEEET. we were all losing it. anyways while the romance is going down magren goes to talk to Summer (full name Ice In Summer) about the encounter and she says basically the same thing Syljor said but none of it is matchinf up w what belladonna said about a ghost
anyways we reconvene to go to bed and lucky leads us to our beds and its nice. lucky pets magren before leaving. magren reads up on the earthmother and then has a dream/vision allium and i were asked to leave for. when we woke up magren had a pink flower on her nose
allium goes to meet up w ferox again in the morning and nairobi tags along bc shes a meddling teenager and magren tags along to see whatever shitshow happens ig. and ferox isnt there. after nai making a high survival check to track (allium despite having advantage rolled ass)
nai follows the tracks and oops ferox was in the kitchen prepping breakfast which makes sense. the gang has breakfast gets the map and is ready to go to the ruins.
SESSION 6 BABY! we talk with benny the librarian and he gives us our map. (btw were at teads of the silver mother monastery going to the temple of the tempest) i ask and we find out the houses in between the monastery and the temple is a hostile lizardfolk settlement
so then summer comes and when asked says she will come along to make sure we know what were doing. we then eat breakfast exciting and nai asks syljor to come and he says piss off. nairobi asks about table manners. she doesnt get it.
heia tells us she wants to make sure we dont Die Real Bad so she gives us three healing potions YAY. i fail an investigation check but its ok bc allium asking gets us earwax so we dont have to hear the wail from the lizard bitches
magren gets an animal messenger for belladonna to tell her were going to b late by a day or so. magren also gets into a fight with a chicken and we leave! we roll exactly the number needed to avoid the hostile lizardfolk settlement and get straight to the temple
we stealth (well bc lauren is a gracious dm who gives up pass without trace bonus even though it was after our stealth rolls) and get in. allium casts detect magic theres a big ol statue with bits fallen off but its lobster lady holding the globe and then BAM two lizards
(theyre actually homebrew banshee-wyrmlings) i crit with my new sick ass PIRAHNA TEETH ATTACK and allium does a bunch of damage too bc bloodhunters and magren uses moonbeam and then i take 9 damage from moonbeam oops
anyways we kill them and me and summer and allium rush to the next room! theres two steam mephits and 3 kua’toa. im just going to do a best of for this part. i literally almost die like. 5 different times, allium turns into a WERETIGER!!!!!! magren heals and be
summer is a druid/monk and pop-po’s as a PANTHER!!!! i get to cast entangle for the first time and we meet a baby dragon !!! technically pseudodragon but WHATEVER. it gives me the help action on my attack but then when the steam mephit does the explodey thing it disappears !!!!
anyways at this point it was getting late for us but i try to animal handling little lizard back and it DOESNT WORK!!!! when i say i wanted to cry! um thats around the end of the session??? it was just a battle session plus like two hours of us dicking around in the monastery
session SEVEN. we start off w summer healing me up from 10 hps WHOO! then i send coconut to scout ahead and coconut sees a human figure plus two kuotoa on a raised platform and also three kuatoa coming to attack.
also i come up w the theory that the human figure is a pact of the chain warlock and thats why dragon poofed. bc he was a familiar.
we fight the kuotoa go into the next room whooooo um. allium and magren square off against one of the kuotoa clerics which magren wildshapes into a giant bull for summer casts entangle but only catches coconut!!!!
oh btw coconut scouted ahead saw the humanoid figure was a darkskinned human woman w locs he also goes down this well and sees shiny stuff at the bottom bc lauren likes to tempt me kiki to into straying from the party bc she knows i have bad impulse control
ANYWAYS coconut flies out and gets entangled. at this point magren and allium were fighting one im pretty sure. idk i spent like 5 rounds talking w agnes the pact of the chain warlock (!!!!) and protecting her and stuff. also wasted my last rage to free her when she didnt need it
basically the pseudodragon WAS hers (i am a genius) and when it said help it was asking for help not trying to give help. she was a dungeoneer who came here not expecting uhhhh kuotoa company. anyways i am smart and agnes is raf
summer went 1v1 with a fuckin 70 hp cleric while magren and allium did whatever they were doing (fighting) and nairobi was being stupid and wasting rages and talking and trying to figure out a way down the well. summer was the mvp this ep!
but anyways this thread was way more detailed but then twitter deleted it from my drafts like a jackass so im trying to recall shit. OH COCONUT FUCKING DIED RIGHT AFTER ESCAPING THE ENTANGLE. i was very annoying about it lorrie im sorry
killed the two and also i got one of the cool staffs from one of them and are short resting atm magren has 2 spell slots both wild shapes allium has all his shit back and i have um. no rages and one entangle left. so. im fucked but everyone else is ok features wise
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