I am beginning my first ever rewatch of Kid Nation, the greatest reality show of all time. They put a bunch of kids in a New Mexico ghost town and then let them just kind of live. It aired in 2007, and I haven't seen it since. Join me! (thread!!!) https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIGq5neIYcWq8u3vNIQFA1ZUAEDuSSVkM

Episode 1: "I'm Trying To Be A Leader Here!"

"If I could make this a better world, I'd bring world peace to Africa, with all the orphans. Especially to Iraq, that'd be the number one place that needs world peace."

Taylor is our antagonist. Remember her.

"Adults have done a horrible job with the world. Three adults I know that have done a good job: George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, and Mahatma Gandhi."

I would like to see present day Anjay's updated list.

I would like to note a detail I totally forgot, which is that they bused 36 kids go Bonanza City. Afterwards, the four Town Council leaders arrived BY HELICOPTER.

So the premise is this: There are 40 kids, four teams of 10, and a town council member from each. Every episode ends with the town council awarding one of the non-council members with a $20,000 golden star.

ALSO: There is a challenge between the teams every week, and the outcome determines, uh, the social classes, which are the "upper class," the "merchants," the cooks, and the, uh, "laborers." There's also a bonus for the whole town if they do the challenge well enough.

Oh, every episode spans four real world days.

They begin not in Bonanza City, but in the middle of nowhere. They have to wheel a bunch of equipment to Bonanza City THEMSELVES. That's how they start all this.

Sophia makes her first appearance! She is the best person in this show and is more or less our protgaonist. She makes her first appearance by calling someone out. She's great!

"Here, in a kid's world, there's no President Bush, there's nothin'."

Foreshadowing of Taylor's arc.

Ah yes, Mike. Mike (the boy scout) is the town councilperson that gets branded as a poor leader (rather than just a menace, ie Taylor) pretty quickly. He's caught right away mushing people along instead of actually helping push carts. The editing is not kind to Mike.

Sophia takes charge! And...immediately dumps out a shitload of macaroni. Hrm, okay!

"I'm very hungry, and, as Martin Luther King Jr. said, I have a dreaaaaam!!!"

Never was big on fan favorite Jared.

Greg (the oldest, kinda brutish) gets in Mike's face!!! Let's go.

Greg pushes Mike away with one finger after a big standoff. Ohhhhhh

Right after, Michael (another hero, he did an AMA about the show once) gets up and gives a rousing speech!

"So I just want to make sure we're cool, right?"

Greg will continue to be our Lord of the Flies Jack.

Green team's town councillor, Laurel, chooses Sophia and Michael for her town. Green team is totally busted.

The town councillors are told of a book. They go to find it in a chapel (?) and it talks about why the town originally failed. There is like zero chance it is a real actual book and I wish anyone would address this. Maybe Sophia did and they just didn't show us.

They're explaining that they read the book and that in order to make things work they need to...split kids up into four groups? That is an insane leap in logic. Just tell the kids to split up, don't have them believe a ghost from the 1880s told them to do it.

Probably the biggest error in this show is the editing and the score, which try to needlessly overdramatize moments. That's a problem with reality shows in general, but it's like they thought this would be airing on Nickelodeon.

pfahahahahaha chalk vandalism at night

They give us a lot of superfluous narration via the interviews. Show really wants to hold your hand so that you understand every single moment. It's weirdly aggressive about this.

When the adult host man rings the bell, they feel the need to intersperse some kid saying that when the bell rang, people wondered what was going on.

I wish the show trusted the audience just, like, a little bit.

LOL.

"Hey Jimmy."
"What?"
"Do you want to be my new wingman?"
"Who is it?"
"Greg."
"No."

Jimmy is very homesick. Greg very publicly gives a weird little attempt at comfort and is rebuffed.

Okay, we're to the craziest thing the show does. Based on the results of a challenge every few days, it puts the four teams into different classes that earn different amounts of money.

The laborers make 10 cents, the cooks make 25 cents, the merchants make 50 cents, and the "upper class" makes a dollar.

Greg starts to vandalize the green sleeping quarters ("BLUE"), and a little kid promptly loses his mind.

imagine saying "THE RED DISTRICT. IS. THE UPPER CLASS." completely unironically and not in a bernie sanders voice

green team is super busted brains-wise but they're a bunch of nerds so they won't win many of these physical challenge competitions

"you're gonna pay your kids in buffalo nickels, it's what the pioneers did too" hey host man are you spongebob fucking squarepants

"so which reward will you choose. seven more outhouses, or this. A TV!!!"

lmao this show

despite claims that the tv might not be conducive to kids helping out around town, mike is lobbying for the tv by claiming the inverse.

there's no way mike is as incompetent as this show is making him out to be. they've definitely picked him out as an easy target

"I'm a beauty queen, I don't do dishes."

YESSSSSSS IT BEGINS

Sophia only has ten cents. "The bicycle costs three dollars. I want that bike."

Sophia is dancing for nickels. "I'm not a very good dancer. Olivia came over and gave me a nickel to dance further away from her bunkhouse."

Somehow in a town that only had 413 nickels (I think), Sophia acquired 60 of them despite only earning two. That's just under 15% of their entire economy!

"GIRLS!!! THIS IS MAN'S DAY!" okay

LMFAO "If you're not happy with the council, raise your hand."

She's the only one who raises their hand, and the council is about to give her $20,000.

Sophia has been more annoying than I remembered her being!

Sophia wins gold star #1.

The guy keeps saying "it's worth its weight in gold, LITERALLY." I hate it.

Sophia learns it's not just some dumb trophy and that she actually just won twenty thousand dollars.

That's it! I'll be back tomorrow for episode two, the one where they kill a chicken.

EPISODE 2: "To Kill Or Not To Kill"

The ancient tome the showrunners have given them has suggested they kill a chicken.

Greg is counting the different sorts of animals he's butchered on his fingers.

The town votes to kill a chicken. Pretty solidly.

"Are they, like, gonna them, like they did Saddam Hussein?"

Emily is staging a peaceful protest, locking herself in with the chickens.

"Emily really needs to calm down. Just deal with it."

SHE SAID IT!

"As Shakespeare would say, to kill or not to kill, that is the question."

Jared........................................stop.

The anti-meat brigade is brought into a meeting and...folds! Completely. I will call these three the Democrats.

Pictured: Greg, unnamed chicken.

Greg discussing that he's stepping up and killing/preparing the chicken partly for the gold star. Makes sense!

The Taylor saga begins in earnest. Yellow team isn't showing up to cook on time. Her response when her teammate Zach tells her it's her job to be in the kitchen.

Physical challenge results: Blue, Red, Yellow, Green. Same two at the bottom, blue and red switch at the top.

Green team doesn't complete the challenge and screws everyone out of a waterslide or bonus water pumps that don't freeze.

"Michael, how is this gonna affect morale?" "Well, this could be worse. I could live in Ethiopia. You never know."

...

Yellow failing to make food or clean up the kitchen and then being the cooks again.....chef's kiss!

"Pageant queens don't scrape off bad, old food. We use dishwashers."

The showrunners are SO evil for making Taylor a town councillor. They absolutely knew what they were doing.

Lots of little drama about Greg's intentions in helping out (it's $$$).

Emilie has yet again locked herself in the chicken coop!

Taking a break to watch a Q&A Sophia made at the start of quarantine!

Greg vs Michael is being discussed for the gold star! I can be you're angle....or yuor devil.....

Anjay votes Greg, Taylor votes Greg, Mike votes Michael, Laurel votes Michael! Who ever will it be.

Sophia and Emilie raise their hands in disapproval of the town council. Sophia specifically notes that Taylor doesn't do any work, which, yeah.

"We're the youngest people, we do not have as good as cooking skills, I'm sorry you're just gonna have to starve." Let's goooooo

After much drama about Emilie leaving, Emilie does not leave! Nobody does.

Michael gets the gold star! Probably the least dislikable kid so far, dude is humble to an almost annoying degree!

"Michael, what are you going to do with your $20,000?"

"I don't know, I think my parents deserve it."

MICHAEL. Stop!!! lol

HE SAYS WINNING ISN'T EVEN ABOUT THE MONEY IT'S MORE IMPORTANT TO HIM THAT HE GETS TO CALL HIS PARENTS AHHHHH

"I love you, and we're really proud of you, but I have to say the best part is just getting to talk to you on the phone." AHHHH HIS MOM IS JUST LIKE HIM

Michael tells Morgan she'll get one too. Let's find out!

Greg is brooding. "I was the obvious choice."

"I did the chickens, and I did a hell of a lot more work than Michael did."
"I thought it was pretty disrespectful."
"I'm gonna do something about it."

BUT NEXT EPISODE IS NOT ABOUT GREG. NO NO NO. NEXT EPISODE IS TITLED "DEAL WITH IT!" JOIN ME TOMORROW.

EPISODE THREE. "DEAL WITH IT!" FEATURING TAYLOR.

Shots of kids pretending they're drinking to excess on root beer.

More.

Oh, one more!

Very boring subplot about the saloon being open too late, The Book tells them to institute a curfew.

Greg, mocking a younger kid he apparently hurt. "OWWWW I'M A LITTLE BITCH OWWWWW"

"I'm the village idiot? You're the village idiot starting shit."

damn sophia actually in tears. "greg makes me feel helpless"

This all started because people were partying and then got up late. So Greg started forcibly waking people up.

It's pretty aggravating that the town is not questioning 1. The Book and 2. the payment structure the host man tells them to follow.

"9:30 is our curfew, if anybody doesn't like it, sorry but you're gonna have to deal with it."

STOP PLEASE, THIS IS ENTERING "DID I DO THAT" TERRITORY

Colton just won a staredown with this cow.

"This is breakfast?"
"DEAL WITH IT."

Taylor is a tyrant.