Read on Twitter
If I walk in a party and say “what the hell going on up in here?” I’m in for a good time.
Really used to walk in like:
Then turn to my friends and be like “aite y’all let me make my rounds.” We split up and do a cute lap. Lap and a half if you spot a nice piece.
And when you walk around you do the squint thing with your eyes and reach with your neck acting like you’re looking for someone. But really you’re on the hunt.
Reconvene with the homegirls and hit the bar. The bottles are scattered over the table and the Dusse is tucked in the back. You think it’s hidden for a reason but take some anyway cause you brought Jameson and someone showed up with Amsterdam so it’s ok.
Fill your cup and spot a friend across the room. Walk up and say hi, they introduce you to an associate of theirs. He don’t know how to shut up. I mean he’s kind of fine but you just came here to tootsie roll on niggas, not chit chat. Damn.
You excuse yourself by saying you gotta go to the bathroom. Lies. But you go anyway because it’s a cute walk across the room and your outfit is all that so the runway awaits.
On the way you see your friend bent over clapping ass to Shake That Monkey. You wanna stop her cause you don’t wanna tip to the stall alone but she’s killing it and you’re proud. You let her be.
You get to the bathroom but there’s a line. Niggas love small talk so you get a tap on your shoulder. “Where ya boyfriend at?” Pfft. How original.
But wait. This the same guy who pushed up on you like 2 months ago at a function. Y’all exchanged instagrams but it didn’t last beyond 2 days of DMing. You troll him and pretend you felt played and were really trying to get to know him. You guilt him into taking you out next week
Finally leave the restroom and now Nasty Song is playing. You grab the nigga that didn’t know how to shut up and hit the dance floor. You already know wtfgo
You wear him tf out. Now he in love asking for your number. You know you’ll regret it but give it anyway, since summer is coming and you’ll need a nice rotation.
Now you and your friends link up and are really whylin out on the dance floor. I’m talking bent over, dutty whining, allat. It’s mad love and everyone is hyping y’all up. Someone shouts “go off bitch!!!”
It’s getting hot so y’all step outside. A group of friends start making small talk with y’all. They’re funny asf and getting ready to leave to go get food. Your homegirl kind of likes one so y’all huddle up. “So what we bout to do?”
The answer is obvious. 3 of them, 3 of us? Let’s go eat. Plus homegirl ain’t got none in a while since she broke up with her ex. She deserves a good time. Let’s set her up.
The chopped cheese is HITTING. The friend is all in your face cause his is getting play from your homegirl. He’s nice but mad goofy and doesn’t stand a chance. You dub him kindly.
Your friend is done chopping it up and ready for that action. Thank goodness, cause you’re tired. You been out all night. Before she pulls off with her piece y’all share locations.
You wave her off. The thought of having a good time is appealing though. Oh well, goofy will have to do. Y’all decide to tip off. You send your other friend home. “I’ll text you later”
You drank a little more than you thought, because you never made it home. After a little romp around you fell asleep. He’s mad hype for some reason. You wake up and he’s all in your face.
You know you better b line it for the door cause it’s coming. You’re quickly looking for your clothes without making it seem like you’re trying to dash. But it ain’t quick enough. Here it comes: “so when ima see you again?”
You fumble trying to come with a lie. He can tell you ain’t with it and gets so quiet. Stops speaking. You awkwardly put on the rest of your clothes. You go for a hug to say bye and get a “nah you good”.
He got some nerve. Especially after the work you put in last night.
Oh well. You tip out and call your friends to recap the night. You and your homegirl had a ball, ya other friend is really just eating up y’all hoe antics.
Last night was so much fun that y’all didn’t even get a pic. But you did manage to make it in the group photo on the hosts IG story.
Ahhh, the momories. Can’t wait until outside opens up again so we can enjoy life.
