Okay, let's talk.

Let's sit down and unpack about why what ja*min said is problematic EVEN IF it was an accident

A THREAD from your local ACTUALLY autistic mutual, aka one of the main groups the r slur is used AGAINST

First of all: read the whole thread. I'm not gonna respond to anyone pulling sht and pulling stuff mid way, or not even reading the thread and having a go at me. If you can't read this thread and at least listen: you're PART of the problem

Secondly: I'm doing this because I'm sick of uwu im not autistic but my cousin is accs speaking over us.

You're a part of the autisM community, not the autisTIC community. Which means whilst you have a voice, its quieter than actually autistic people and you can't speak over us.

None of you have even addressed the actual issue, and it's very clearly from majority of autistic people reading your threads. Sit down and listen. Autistic voices are louder than autism community voices w/ this stuff and if you're gonna speak over us: you're part of the issue

CW: ableist language

Some terms

R word/slur: retard
Neurodivergent: someone who is autistic, adhd, etc, our brains are wired DIFFERENTLY from the "normal" brain wiring
Neurotypical: someone who's brain is NOT wired differently to the "typical" brain wiring

So first:

Autism is a genetic wiring where our brains work differently. We think and act different from neurotypicals (NTs), we may hate specific things (loud noises, bright lights). We come in many different forms and "norms" :

https://www.autism.org.uk/about/what-is.aspx

If you're friends with me, you'll know I struggle with social a LOT. I won't reply for months sometimes, I'm very inquisitive and very observant and can be very silent. This is my autism, it's not something I can control and that will always affect me.

Please note that the r slur also can be used against other neurodivergent people and NOT just autistic people; I'm speaking on autism more as there's more research available with South Korea and I'm much more expertised to speak on autism

CW: ableist language

So where did retard come from? Why is it used against us? Why do we get so offended?

Well: previously, autism was known as "mental retardation", and it has since changed in language to become a slur/insult to infer we are below average intelligence.

CW: ableist language

Even today, in 2020 in the UK I meet new people and disclose after a while I'm autistic and they "OH so ur a retard?"

It's demeaning. It's used because we're subhuman because... Our brains are wired differently. It's used to mean "oh so ur dumb?"

So here you can see the issues. I can't control my autism. It's a part of me. It's how my brain works. I can't take a pill and it goes away for 12 hours of the day. There is no cure (and should not be a cure). It's who I am.

Why should I be sub human for that?

So this brings us on to part 2 of this thread: the ja*min issue (and yes I'll continue censoring his name)

So in an interview, ja*min mixed up a word that can mean the r word with the word for prominent.

The words are very similar, I've double taked numerous times in Korean twitter where I've mistakenly read it wrong, and such.

It can be a very simple slip of the tongue, it happens.

"But if its a mispronounciation, why are you so mad and angry?"

Remember I said ND people think different to NTs?

Well, me and my autistic friend group can't just go "oh a mispronounciation"

We're going

> did he purposely say it knowing he could hide it as a mispronounciation
> either way this was said, everyone but HC found it quite funny
> why is everyone defending him to such great lengths if it was just a mispronounciation
> this happened days ago, why was it

covered up and everyone acting like it didn't happen

Not a single NT person I've spoken to have even considered these. Not a single one out of over 30 now. This is what we're thinking. We acknowledge it probably is a slip of the tongue and a mistake but we can't ignore these things

"but if you think it's a mispronounciation why are you angry?"

And this is where we come onto part THREE: Autism + South Korea

In a lot of western countries, 1 in 150 children will be autistic. This is a relatively small number.

In South Korea:

And this may be UNDER representative

This means in the UK, in 2011-2012 (the same year as this study) 1 in 68 children were autistic. In SK, every 1 in 38, that's almost doubled.

https://choice.npr.org/index.html?origin=https://www.npr.org/2011/05/09/136066097/autism-may-be-far-more-common-study-suggests

So this means you've got roughly 2 South Korean children that are autistic for every 1 autistic UK child. Make sense? This is important for later.

So now let's look AT how South Korea views autism:

Well folks... Its bad

Stigma surrounding autism is so bad in South Korea that parents would RATHER be known as child abusers than their children be diagnosed autistic.

Sit back and try and imagine your mother willingly being known as an abuser bc of you

https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/researchers-track-down-autism-rates-across-the-globe/

Can you imagine seeing doctor after doctor and they say you're autistic and your mother immediately says, sign it down as I abuse my child so they aren't out casted and bullied. Can you imagine seeing your mother go through what comes with that because of what you can't control?

Now, whilst imagining that. Imagining that with your mother.

Imagine hearing your bias/ult/idol/person you look up to saying the r word/equivalent.

And it was very clearly a joke, by the way everyone was laughing - again, mistake or not.

Can you imagine seeing your mother go through hell for being a "child abuser" because you're born different, to seeing your idols casually saying it and laughing about a word that ties to severe discrimination, bullying, refusal of jobs and can lead to your murder?

Now, if we got back to stats. 1 UK child vs 2 SK children.

So if you've got 100 zens in the UK and 10 of them are autistic, you've got 100 Korean zens and 20 of them are autistic.

And these are VERY small numbers compared to the actual fandom. Can you imagine the hurt sweeping through autistic Korean zens? Can you actually sit there and IMAGINE it?

And its not just Korean zens either.

CW: child abuse

In America, its very common for parents of autistic children to force them to drink or have a bleach enema to "cure" their autism.

In the UK, therapists will have you sit through therapy after therapy to 'fix' behaviours you CANNOT control and are just

the way your brain is wired.

CW: depression

I've sat through that therapy 8 times and I was so depressed things got very touch and go for *THREE YEARS* because I hated myself so much

So here comes the issue:

- everyone hearing this from ja*min, most of us have gone through horrendous things because of our autism or can't be ourselves
- some autistic people are non verbal and may struggle to even explain any of this to people or stand up for themselves

CW: ableist language

- "retards" are bullied, abused, or even murdered because of how our brain is wired.

And here you have a possible mispronounciation, in which is treated like a joke, normalising the usage to those who aren't aware of these issues.

And on top of that, we have NTs telling us to shut up, oh it was just a mispronounciation, "oh get help" (as if some NDs aren't horrifically abused by some medical staff), etc.

You're showing your ableism

So here's my last two cents for people just owo it's a mispronounciation

- how would this roll if it was another minority? If I said this about bpoc, or lgbt, etc?

> if the answer is you'd be attacked, YOU DONT SAY IT ABOUT OTHER MINORITIES

- I have an autistic/adhd friend/family member, why can't I speak?

> You are NOT autistic and you may observe and see our struggles, but you will never truly LIVE them. Help autistic people raise our voices louder instead of speaking for us

- What can I do to help?

> listen to AUTISTIC people (not owo my cousin autistic!!!). Research. Ask us questions based on your research. Educate yourself. Help us by raising our voices, stop using words that harm us. Stop covering and OH IT WAS JUST THIS!!!! If we're +

angry about something, we're angry for a reason, don't ridicule us.

CW: child abuse

And last but not least, if you're saying sht like this we gonna have a problem bc this is also essentially saying parents can force their kids to drink bleach you ableist scum

- yes you can rt this thread
- yes, I will answer questions to the best of my ability and help you find autism sources
- I don't care how autistic your cousin is, if you are not autistic do not speak over me
- not my fandom not my problem, well honey, discrimination against me

Uh welcome to the end of the thread

Remember if you're neurotypical you don't hyper fixate, meltdowns aren't controllable and your autistic friend heavily focused on only their bias is hyper fixating not a solo stan, have a taemin

Also I do NOT condone cancel culture in anyway and this is the first I've really ever been involved with an issue like this

I truly believe that jmin spoke out of ignorance and he needs educating but the abelist lengths some zens are going are exhausting me

And lastly : if your equality beliefs don't reach to equality for EVERYONE, you don't want equality you want privilege