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I am so honored to be part of @sefloseo's gaybies! 
I speak on behalf of those who are feeling unheard. That change should start NOW.
This thread is the full-length version of my entry. #LetThemSpeak #LetBoysBeFeminine
I speak on behalf of those who are feeling unheard. That change should start NOW.This thread is the full-length version of my entry. #LetThemSpeak #LetBoysBeFeminine
Over the years (wow chz), I was fortunate to have some boyfriends, where I can freely express my femininity. But I'm lying if I say it was easy. In 2018, I began using Grindr. Since then, I was fond of using dating apps because even though I dated accepting guys, I've beenâ
âthrough traumatic relationships as well, and that made me want to seek attention, and affection. I tried to hide my femininity upon meeting guys, which I enjoyed at first, because I was pleasing them, till I realized I wasn't happy with what I'm doing. I forgot about me.
I'm into feminine gays din kasi, eh. And we all have this notion ng "lasunan." That is why I'm scared of seeing other feminine guys because I might as well get kicked off, being seen as a "sister." Most of the time, I make the first move, and most of the time I am just rejected,
partly because I'm femme they see as laughable, but also because I'm a very "weird" kid. Also, it has been a norm in gay dating apps such as Grindr, kung saan kapag "halata" ka, they won't entertain you. It happened to meânot entertained, blocked, I can even remember I was called
names relating to me being fat and femme. From then, I became very, very insecure. I feel as though I'm an outcast in my own community. I tried seeing masc gays too, but things turn out to be the same with seeing femme ones. My interests were alien to them. It all comes down toâ
my music taste, the shows I watch, even my interest in poetry and politics does not seem to fit every guy I've seen, not to mention that aside from being a "weirdo" whose interests are mostly academic, I am dealing with endless bodyshaming I've been facing even in my own family.
All I have to do is to fully adjust myself, morphing into this another person I create just to make them stay, just to please them. And traumatic as it may seem to me, I must admit that it turned me into this monster that became unhealthy to my ex-dates. It's frustrating that all
I'm doing is pleasing other people, yet they don't see the good in me, nor I have shown my full potential to them. I am sharing this because I do not want everyone to pretend the way that I did, just to patch up your missing pieces. I decided to finally choose myself, pursue myâ
career in international relations while aiming to establish my drag persona (Venti LaDeur) and push through my writings as well. I always have this goal. I have this planned for years, and I don't need a man who is going to make me change that. It's always been a struggle for usâ
âfemme gays to have a person who is going to love us tirelessly, and I have a very strong support group to help me get through it. If you're feminine and you're in a thriving relationship, e 'di sana all. Charot! It's at least good that society is becoming more open in lovingâ
âsomeone despite how they express themselves. But the fight doesn't stop there, mga Kumare. When Sef asked me to do this, I am more than thrilled and excited because I never felt so heard before. When I met him as Victoria Salt during PUP Pride, I was ecstatic, because honestly,
that was the only time I've been gayer than ever! I was exuding my feminine self without people judging me because I feel like I was in a safe space, a safe haven. Sef, and the local drag scene made me feel freer, and just imagining how it feels like to be part of it is veryâ
exciting. There's nothing wrong with being feminine. It's sickening! I say, let boys be feminine, trewwww???
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