Delivering a workshop on inclusive teaching yesterday brought up a lot of residual feelings from my own experience as a student. I am the first person in my family to attend an elite college and Ivy League institution. I am also the first person to earn a PhD. 1/8
One specific memory that I keep replaying is asking a prof for a rec for a program to increase quantitative training access for underrepresented students. This person initially told me no because I was “only an average student” in their class. 2/8
Y’ALL. This class assumed advanced calculus background and I had never even taken calculus (thanks, liberal arts education). In fact, unbeknownst to anyone in my program, I was getting up at 6am 5 days a week to audit an 8am freshman calculus course to keep up with my peers. 3/8
I also hired a tutor to help me catch up on the assumed knowledge in the course. I paid for this out of my own pocket. 4/8
This professor ultimately wrote me the rec and I got the additional training, which helped so much. But damn. That was the most deflating experience and it took a year for my confidence to recover. 5/8
To be fair, this person eventually changed their tune when they saw my work ethic and how I excelled despite not having the same background as my peers. 6/8
Still, this person’s praise was never as loud as them telling me I was “only average” and not someone they wanted to vouch for when I asked for their help. 7/8
I publish on teaching and pedagogy b/c I intimately understand the weight of these choices. I publish and deliver workshops on inclusive teaching and equity, in particular, to use the privilege I now have to help those coming up behind me. 8/8