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TW: abuse, domestic violence
I got out of my abusive relationship two years ago and only two months ago was I finally able to call it “Domestic Violence” and admit that there was physical abuse involved.
I got out of my abusive relationship two years ago and only two months ago was I finally able to call it “Domestic Violence” and admit that there was physical abuse involved.
Yesterday, in therapy, I talked about the grief I’m experiencing for the person I was before I started getting gaslit because that person didn’t have to think twice about being vulnerable with their loved ones.
I still fall trap to feeling guilty, as if I had known that the person I fell in love with was going to take advantage of my forgiveness, trust, and patience. I am quick to remind myself now that i did nothing to deserve being belittled, but it still hurts that I still feel it.
It was so so so so shitty to even begin to scratch the surface of what happened the first couple months after leaving.
People I came to know and care about still socialized with her and myself, even when showing concern for me. I swallowed up those feelings bc
People I came to know and care about still socialized with her and myself, even when showing concern for me. I swallowed up those feelings bc
I wanted to believe that ppl showed up differently for everyone. Then the first doc I saw told me that it’s THE reason abusers thrive. They select who to abuse, they’re predatory like that.
I couldn’t buy into that excuse after that.
I couldn’t buy into that excuse after that.
I had handled things on my own for so long I thought I had to handle the breakup on my own too.
Except it wasn’t a “normal” breakup by any means. I didn’t know how to communicate what support I needed or where to start.
Except it wasn’t a “normal” breakup by any means. I didn’t know how to communicate what support I needed or where to start.
I feel grateful for the people that I started following on Twitter (I made it a point to follow ppl who empowered me), my books, the survivors who came into my DMs, and my friends for even attempting to help when they also had 0 ideas abt how to support me. The effort mattered.
