1/
With the news that Guardian Soulmates is to shut up shop, here are some of my worst experiences from it, during a point in my life when I tried online dating. NB: I'm sure I was equally as disappointing and wretched for some of these people too. So, in order of awfulness...
With the news that Guardian Soulmates is to shut up shop, here are some of my worst experiences from it, during a point in my life when I tried online dating. NB: I'm sure I was equally as disappointing and wretched for some of these people too. So, in order of awfulness...
2/
The actress who took a phonecall halfway through our picnic and said, "Hang on, it's my fuckbuddy." Then chatted happily to him for half an hour, while I miserably toyed with a mini scotch egg.
The actress who took a phonecall halfway through our picnic and said, "Hang on, it's my fuckbuddy." Then chatted happily to him for half an hour, while I miserably toyed with a mini scotch egg.
3/
The Daily Mail hack who skillfully evaded paying for anything, and in lieu of conversation continually quizzed me to see if I knew anyone from Made in Chelsea.
The Daily Mail hack who skillfully evaded paying for anything, and in lieu of conversation continually quizzed me to see if I knew anyone from Made in Chelsea.
4/
The German IT technician, who told me that human language would very soon "die, it will die" and be replaced entirely by computer code. "No, it will die. You are not listening to me. It will die. Die."
The German IT technician, who told me that human language would very soon "die, it will die" and be replaced entirely by computer code. "No, it will die. You are not listening to me. It will die. Die."
5/
The one who took a gram of coke and while carried away, karate-chopped me in the face, causing blood to gush from my nose like a broken hydrant. We laughed about it, but reader, for whatever reason, there was no second date.
The one who took a gram of coke and while carried away, karate-chopped me in the face, causing blood to gush from my nose like a broken hydrant. We laughed about it, but reader, for whatever reason, there was no second date.