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On March 23rd my grandad sent this message in our family chat.
"Henceforth my daily glumliffter will be known as Grandads Isolation Joke(GIJ)"
He has sent a daily joke since. If you need a smile hopefully you'll find one here
#GIJ #jokes #smile
"Henceforth my daily glumliffter will be known as Grandads Isolation Joke(GIJ)"
He has sent a daily joke since. If you need a smile hopefully you'll find one here
#GIJ #jokes #smile
GIJ tue.
This morning I said,,I'm going to change this light bulb.
She said that will be hard with only one arm.
I said,no problem..... I've still got the receipt.!!!
Look after yourselfs XX
This morning I said,,I'm going to change this light bulb.
She said that will be hard with only one arm.
I said,no problem..... I've still got the receipt.!!!
Look after yourselfs XX
http://GIJ.wed .
She was just about to throw out an empty milk carton..I said, don't throw that away..., someone might want a black coffee,!!!!
Look after yourselfs X
She was just about to throw out an empty milk carton..I said, don't throw that away..., someone might want a black coffee,!!!!
Look after yourselfs X
GIJ.thu.
Evie said"aunty Kerry ,why do I keep ruñning round in circles when I'm tired??.Kez said Shut up or I'll nail you're other foot to the floor.
Keep smiling.XX:-)
Evie said"aunty Kerry ,why do I keep ruñning round in circles when I'm tired??.Kez said Shut up or I'll nail you're other foot to the floor.
Keep smiling.XX:-)
GIJ Fri.
Mummy, Mummy càn lick the bowl ?
.
No ,you Will flush it the same as everybody else.
Take care.XX
Mummy, Mummy càn lick the bowl ?
.
No ,you Will flush it the same as everybody else.
Take care.XX
GIJ.sat.
I thought I'd try cage Fighting...had my first bout last night...... that budgie didn't know what hit him.
I thought I'd try cage Fighting...had my first bout last night...... that budgie didn't know what hit him.
GIJ .sun.
Just been watching scuba divers on the telly.
I said why do the divers Fall backwards into the water?
Sue said,cuz if they fell forwards, they would still be in the boat...
Stay healthy....XX
Just been watching scuba divers on the telly.
I said why do the divers Fall backwards into the water?
Sue said,cuz if they fell forwards, they would still be in the boat...
Stay healthy....XX
GIJ Mon
will once had a job in a shoe recycling factory......it was sole distroying.
Sleep well.XX
will once had a job in a shoe recycling factory......it was sole distroying.
Sleep well.XX
GIJ TUE.
IF YOU RUN OUT OF TOILET PAPER yOU CAN ÀLWAYS USE A LETTUCE LEÀF ITS ONLY THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG.....
IF YOU RUN OUT OF TOILET PAPER yOU CAN ÀLWAYS USE A LETTUCE LEÀF ITS ONLY THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG.....
GIJ wed.
I once had a job designing calendars..
I got the sack just because I knocked a couple of days off....
Stay healthy XX
I once had a job designing calendars..
I got the sack just because I knocked a couple of days off....
Stay healthy XX
GIJ Fri.
Grandad tried to warn everyone that the Titanic was going to sink.But no one would listen.He was screaming and shouting but they all told him to be quiet.They weren't interested .But he just got louder and louder. In the end, they had to eject him from the cinema.
Sorry
Grandad tried to warn everyone that the Titanic was going to sink.But no one would listen.He was screaming and shouting but they all told him to be quiet.They weren't interested .But he just got louder and louder. In the end, they had to eject him from the cinema.
Sorry
GIJ.thurs
I got the sack from my job at the orange juice factory....i couldn't concentrate
I got the sack from my job at the orange juice factory....i couldn't concentrate
Fri.extra.
I forgot to tell you the other day....., when i was at the calendar factory,two brothers stole a calendar......., they got six-months each..
Look after yourselfsXX
I forgot to tell you the other day....., when i was at the calendar factory,two brothers stole a calendar......., they got six-months each..
Look after yourselfsXX
GIJ sat.
I went to put the bin bag out at eight o, clock làst night,and all the neighbors started clapping and shouting....,,,I felt quite humbled.......till your mum explained
I went to put the bin bag out at eight o, clock làst night,and all the neighbors started clapping and shouting....,,,I felt quite humbled.......till your mum explained
GI J sun.
It comes to something when my bins go out more than I do.
It comes to something when my bins go out more than I do.
GIJ mon
Last night I fancied a take, away..so I phoned the shop.
I said do you deliver ?
He said no...we do chicken, lamb or beef...
Stay healthy XX
Last night I fancied a take, away..so I phoned the shop.
I said do you deliver ?
He said no...we do chicken, lamb or beef...
Stay healthy XX
GIJ tue.
Old Billy invented a cure for the common cold..
It was great for coughs and colds..
When old Billy died it was a quiet affair.....No coffin.
XXstay safe.
Old Billy invented a cure for the common cold..
It was great for coughs and colds..
When old Billy died it was a quiet affair.....No coffin.
XXstay safe.
GIJ wed.
Last week there was a kidnapping at the nursery... but he woke up and everything was fine..
XX. Sleep well.
Last week there was a kidnapping at the nursery... but he woke up and everything was fine..
XX. Sleep well.
GIJ .thu.
Because of the lockdown I'm thinking of taking up painting. I told Sue, she said there's some white emulsion in the shed.. you can start on the living room.
XX
Night night
Because of the lockdown I'm thinking of taking up painting. I told Sue, she said there's some white emulsion in the shed.. you can start on the living room.
XX
Night night
GIJ Fri
When I was at school I fancied this dutch girl who wore inflatable shoes.
Many years later I tried to get in touch with her but she had popped her clogs.....
XX. Happy good Friday.
When I was at school I fancied this dutch girl who wore inflatable shoes.
Many years later I tried to get in touch with her but she had popped her clogs.....
XX. Happy good Friday.
GIJ sa
The first patient to be treated with the new Dyson ventilator is responding well.
Medical staff say that he's picking up nicely.
XX
The first patient to be treated with the new Dyson ventilator is responding well.
Medical staff say that he's picking up nicely.
XX
GIJ sun
I planted some tomato plants a couple of weeks ago. Today someone said they are coming on a treat .
I said Oh....I was expecting tomatos!!!
XX Stày healthy.
I planted some tomato plants a couple of weeks ago. Today someone said they are coming on a treat .
I said Oh....I was expecting tomatos!!!
XX Stày healthy.
G.I.J. Mon.
I gotta get some so bored today ,i phoned someone in India and asked if they had been in an accident ..
XX
I gotta get some so bored today ,i phoned someone in India and asked if they had been in an accident ..
XX
GIJ. wed
What do you call a bull with bunions...
Corned beef..
What do you call a bull with bunions...
Corned beef..
GIJ Tues
Me and sue watched 3 box sets back to back làst night... unfortunately for me sue was facing the telly...
XX
Me and sue watched 3 box sets back to back làst night... unfortunately for me sue was facing the telly...
XX
GIJ.thu.
I was going to give the bin men a box of after eights, but they came at 7.50. so I ate them myself..
XX
I was going to give the bin men a box of after eights, but they came at 7.50. so I ate them myself..
XX
GIJ Fri
in the Bank this morning I noticed that the lady in front of me. Had got 3 pound coins in one ear,and 3 pound coins in The other ear.. when I got to the counter ans told the teller He said she's not very good for business.. she's always six quid in arrears
in the Bank this morning I noticed that the lady in front of me. Had got 3 pound coins in one ear,and 3 pound coins in The other ear.. when I got to the counter ans told the teller He said she's not very good for business.. she's always six quid in arrears
GIJ.sat.
Sue asked me to pencil in her eyebrows. So I did, but I did them a bit too high.
She looked supprised.
Sue asked me to pencil in her eyebrows. So I did, but I did them a bit too high.
She looked supprised.
