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How to approach any woman; anytime; anywhere. (part 1).
Let’s go there!
APPROACHING WOMEN CAN BE VERY SCARY FOR MEN.
"One of the hardest things for a man to do is to approach women... especially the ones he likes."
I have a very good friend, his name is David.
Let’s go there!
APPROACHING WOMEN CAN BE VERY SCARY FOR MEN.
"One of the hardest things for a man to do is to approach women... especially the ones he likes."
I have a very good friend, his name is David.
David and I were classmates in secondary school. As I entered into the university, he opted for the NDA (Nigerian Defence Academy).
The guy has always been a brave guy. I admire that a lot about him.
So fast forward to the present; David is now a Lieutenant.
The guy has always been a brave guy. I admire that a lot about him.
So fast forward to the present; David is now a Lieutenant.
Last year, we finally met again (after several years). We went to a nice spot and we saw some pretty ladies; and David was so scared to walk up to them.
I made jokes at him. I was like; "Dave! You’re so brave... handling guns, going to missions and shit... but you can't go
I made jokes at him. I was like; "Dave! You’re so brave... handling guns, going to missions and shit... but you can't go
and talk to random girls? Hahahaha!"
So why did I tell you this story?
Every man has that approach anxiety. Even the so called 'ladies man' and the 'playboys'.
They just have ways of controlling it. And you can learn to control yours too.
So why did I tell you this story?
Every man has that approach anxiety. Even the so called 'ladies man' and the 'playboys'.
They just have ways of controlling it. And you can learn to control yours too.
So you're not alone bro; In fact a lot of men are on this particular table.
CONFIDENCE IS ALL YOU NEED
“The more competent you’re at approaching women, the more confident you’re at doing it.”
When I was learning how to ride a bicycle… I think I was around 7yrs old.
CONFIDENCE IS ALL YOU NEED
“The more competent you’re at approaching women, the more confident you’re at doing it.”
When I was learning how to ride a bicycle… I think I was around 7yrs old.
I fell with the bicycle a lot of times… got injured; and I wasn’t really confident to ride a bicycle again.
However, I continued… then with time, I started getting a hang of it, I began propelling the bike better and I fell less.
However, I continued… then with time, I started getting a hang of it, I began propelling the bike better and I fell less.
With that positive result, my confidence in riding bicycle started increasing… Soon, I was riding with one hand and then graduated to the “no hands” gang.
It’s the same way when you start approaching women newly; you’ll get rejected a lot of times…
It’s the same way when you start approaching women newly; you’ll get rejected a lot of times…
your self confidence will be hurt due to these rejections; and you won’t be too confident to walk up to another lady.
However, if you continue… at sometime, you’ll start getting positive results, which will get you more confident to approach more ladies
However, if you continue… at sometime, you’ll start getting positive results, which will get you more confident to approach more ladies
until you’re so confident that you can walk up to any woman, anytime and anywhere.
At that confidence level, you can approach the hottest model as she’s just stepping off from the runway or maybe a movie actress you like and get her real phone number.
At that confidence level, you can approach the hottest model as she’s just stepping off from the runway or maybe a movie actress you like and get her real phone number.
One thing EVERY woman on earth finds attractive in a man is CONFIDENCE.
HOW DO YOU START?
When you want to learn a car, you just don’t enter a car and start the ignition.
You can actually learn driving that way. No kidding!
HOW DO YOU START?
When you want to learn a car, you just don’t enter a car and start the ignition.
You can actually learn driving that way. No kidding!
However, it will be more difficult and it’ll definitely incur lots of damages to your car, other people’s cars and sometimes take lives too.
It’s always best to find someone who’s already good at driving to teach you.
It’s always best to find someone who’s already good at driving to teach you.
And that’s where I come in. I’ll give you the strategies that will help you achieve that type of confidence in a shorter time.
These strategies will serve as a ‘guide’, which will teach you;
“how you can start a conversation with a girl”, “how to keep the
These strategies will serve as a ‘guide’, which will teach you;
“how you can start a conversation with a girl”, “how to keep the
conversation going and fun”, “the right time to ask for her name & her number”, “how to talk to a lady that always hangs out with a clique”, “the right way to make an eye contact with a woman when you approach her” and so many more…
THE APPROACH STRATEGIES
There are basically two ways to approach a lady;
The direct approach and Indirect approach.
In Indirect approach, you try to start a conversation with the lady, and then smoothly ask for her number or a date.
There are basically two ways to approach a lady;
The direct approach and Indirect approach.
In Indirect approach, you try to start a conversation with the lady, and then smoothly ask for her number or a date.
While in the direct approach, you go straight to the point; with very little or no conversation.
In the part 2, I’ll discuss in details on how to go about “Indirect approach”; when to use it; the advantages and disadvantages.
In the part 2, I’ll discuss in details on how to go about “Indirect approach”; when to use it; the advantages and disadvantages.
I usually recommend this particular strategy to guys that are starting newly in the approach game. It takes lesser guts and also builds your confidence.
PART TWO(2)
THE INDIRECT APPROACH
Like I said in the part 1, I would be going in depth with the “Indirect approach” in this part.
So this post might be long, but it’s definitely going to be worth it.
THE INDIRECT APPROACH
Like I said in the part 1, I would be going in depth with the “Indirect approach” in this part.
So this post might be long, but it’s definitely going to be worth it.
Basically, in this style of approach; you ‘start’ a casual conversation with the lady first, you keep the conversation interesting and fun, and then you ask for her number or a date (as the case may be).
So how do you start a conversation with a random lady you just met?
So how do you start a conversation with a random lady you just met?
THE CONVERSATION STARTER
There are several ways to start a conversation with a lady you’ve not talked with before.
However, I’m going to give you THREE techniques that have worked best for me, my friends and other guys I’ve coached.
There are several ways to start a conversation with a lady you’ve not talked with before.
However, I’m going to give you THREE techniques that have worked best for me, my friends and other guys I’ve coached.
1) Ask for a favour from her:
You can just ask her for a small favour. If she agrees (most times she’s going to), she’s investing in you. And that has a positive psychological effect on her.
You can just ask her for a small favour. If she agrees (most times she’s going to), she’s investing in you. And that has a positive psychological effect on her.
Personal Example:
So I was at this fast food in town, doing some paper work with my laptop; when this gorgeous lady walked in, ordered for some snacks immediately and sat a table away from me.
So I was at this fast food in town, doing some paper work with my laptop; when this gorgeous lady walked in, ordered for some snacks immediately and sat a table away from me.
As she sat down, she made an eye contact with me and quickly looked away (she sent a signal).
After about 3mins, I walked up to her and said:
“Hey, I’m sorry to disturb you, but could you watch my laptop for a minute, while I go order for something to eat?”
After about 3mins, I walked up to her and said:
“Hey, I’m sorry to disturb you, but could you watch my laptop for a minute, while I go order for something to eat?”
“Okay, no problem” she replied.
When I came back with what I ordered, I headed straight to her table.
“Thanks a lot dear”, I said cheerfully.
She mumbled “you’re welcome”.
I introduced myself immediately.
“By the way, I’m Gerald, what about you?”
When I came back with what I ordered, I headed straight to her table.
“Thanks a lot dear”, I said cheerfully.
She mumbled “you’re welcome”.
I introduced myself immediately.
“By the way, I’m Gerald, what about you?”
While extending my hand for a handshake (Touch is very vital, I’ll talk about that later)
“I’m Cassie” she replied as she lightly shook my hand.
“Can I join you? Cassie. I hope you don’t mind”
“I’m Cassie” she replied as she lightly shook my hand.
“Can I join you? Cassie. I hope you don’t mind”
I wanted to seat down ASAP (because it ain’t smart that she’s sitting, while I was still standing)
“No, I don’t mind” she replied.
As I sat down, I engaged in an interesting conversation with her, at the climax of the conversation (when the conversation was very interesting),
“No, I don’t mind” she replied.
As I sat down, I engaged in an interesting conversation with her, at the climax of the conversation (when the conversation was very interesting),
I asked for her phone number. She gave it to me… I talked some more with her… then I told her I’ve got to go back to my work and it was really nice getting to know her.
At the evening, I called her and set up a date with her the following day.
At the evening, I called her and set up a date with her the following day.
Bonus Hint: Just ask for small favours. It could be asking for her pen in the bank; or to help you pass the drink opener in a canteen. Just be a bit creative bro.
2) Ask her a question:
Asking her a question is another way, you could start up a conversation with a random lady.
2) Ask her a question:
Asking her a question is another way, you could start up a conversation with a random lady.
And the good thing is; she’s probably going to answer you, because right from childhood people have been trained to answer questions.
That’s why, when someone asks you “what’s the time?”, you immediately look at your watch; like a reflex action.
That’s why, when someone asks you “what’s the time?”, you immediately look at your watch; like a reflex action.
Personal example:
On a certain Sunday morning, I went to pick some things in a nearby supermarket.
As I entered to the food aisle, I saw this beauty checking the snacks row.
I approached her immediately and asked her a question.
On a certain Sunday morning, I went to pick some things in a nearby supermarket.
As I entered to the food aisle, I saw this beauty checking the snacks row.
I approached her immediately and asked her a question.
“What is she doing here on a Sunday morning, shouldn’t she be in Church?
She glanced at me and replied,
“The same thing you’re doing here, shouldn’t you be in church too?”
“Hehe, the priest is coming to my house later in the evening for a personal service…
She glanced at me and replied,
“The same thing you’re doing here, shouldn’t you be in church too?”
“Hehe, the priest is coming to my house later in the evening for a personal service…
I just came here to pick what we’ll need for the service.” I joked.
She chuckled, and then said to me “Funny… Actually, I went for the first service, so I decided to come and pick a few groceries”
She chuckled, and then said to me “Funny… Actually, I went for the first service, so I decided to come and pick a few groceries”
“Okay, that kinda makes sense … Anyway, I’m Gerald, what about you?” while extending my hand for a handshake
“I’m Amaka” she replied as she shook my hand. Then I held her hand for a while and said.
“I’m Amaka” she replied as she shook my hand. Then I held her hand for a while and said.
“That’s a lovely name… So Amaka, You stay around, right?... coz I don’t think you would travel miles just to pick up small groceries.”
She smiled and replied “Yes, I do stay around”
“That’s awesome, I stay around too… We should hang out sometime… Can I have your phone number?”
She smiled and replied “Yes, I do stay around”
“That’s awesome, I stay around too… We should hang out sometime… Can I have your phone number?”
She then gave me her number.
“I’ll give you a call” I said smiling. “And In case you’re not satisfied with that service you went for…you can still join us later in the evening for ours” I added teasingly.
“I’ll give you a call” I said smiling. “And In case you’re not satisfied with that service you went for…you can still join us later in the evening for ours” I added teasingly.
She giggled nervously and said “Thanks, I think that one is enough for me today.”
“All right, it was really nice meeting you Amaka” I’ll talk to you later.
Then I continued my shopping.
Bonus Hint: Try to make the initial question interesting.
“All right, it was really nice meeting you Amaka” I’ll talk to you later.
Then I continued my shopping.
Bonus Hint: Try to make the initial question interesting.
Don’t ask questions which are too personal.
3)Make a statement:
Here you just make a statement to the girl; as if you were thinking out aloud.
It’s usually a clever observation you noticed around the immediate environment.
Just make sure the lady is around you though.
3)Make a statement:
Here you just make a statement to the girl; as if you were thinking out aloud.
It’s usually a clever observation you noticed around the immediate environment.
Just make sure the lady is around you though.
For example:
Maybe the weather was really cold, and you just say to her;
“Mehn! This weather is weather for three”.
She might respond by; replying directly to the statement, laughing, smiling and so on.
Maybe the weather was really cold, and you just say to her;
“Mehn! This weather is weather for three”.
She might respond by; replying directly to the statement, laughing, smiling and so on.
If she responds, just engage her in a conversation; if she doesn’t, you just made a statement. A win-win technique.
Other examples of the statement
--Maybe you’re eating in a restaurant and a lady you like is sitting near you. You could say looking at her:
Other examples of the statement
--Maybe you’re eating in a restaurant and a lady you like is sitting near you. You could say looking at her:
“This food is really delicious; but I’m sure the person that cooked this cannot cook Cornflakes more than me”.
--- Maybe you were in a boring lecture or class or seminar. You could say to her;
--- Maybe you were in a boring lecture or class or seminar. You could say to her;
“I’m certain, if someone that’s suffering from insomnia (finding it difficult to sleep) comes here, he would fall asleep immediately”
Bonus Hint: Try to make the statement funny, clever or controversial; so it can get her attention enough to respond.
Bonus Hint: Try to make the statement funny, clever or controversial; so it can get her attention enough to respond.
Also Note: I have been rejected sometimes using the above techniques… I just gave examples with the ones that worked. I love focusing on the positives.
So don’t think if you use this indirect approach, you won’t be rejected at all.
So don’t think if you use this indirect approach, you won’t be rejected at all.
WHEN TO USE INDIRECT APPROACH
1) When you and the lady are in a close distance and are moving slowly or in a stationary position; use indirect approach.
For example: If you’re in a bus with her; shopping together in a supermarket; she’s standing in front of
1) When you and the lady are in a close distance and are moving slowly or in a stationary position; use indirect approach.
For example: If you’re in a bus with her; shopping together in a supermarket; she’s standing in front of
you in a queue; she’s seated near you in class, lecture or something ; or in the waiting area with you in a bank, office, hospital etc
2) If you know you would still be seeing the lady... maybe she lives around, or she’s your colleague, course mate or classmates;
2) If you know you would still be seeing the lady... maybe she lives around, or she’s your colleague, course mate or classmates;
I advise you to use the indirect approach.
If you use the direct approach and she rejects you; it might just be awkward still seeing her around.
3) If her friends are around and you noticed she’s the shy type… It’s better to use the indirect approach too.
If you use the direct approach and she rejects you; it might just be awkward still seeing her around.
3) If her friends are around and you noticed she’s the shy type… It’s better to use the indirect approach too.
4) And finally, if you’re the shy type or you’re not yet confident enough for the direct approach… Use this until you’re confident enough for the direct approach.
ADVANTAGES OF THE INDIRECT APPROACH
1) It takes lesser guts to carryout unlike the direct approach.
ADVANTAGES OF THE INDIRECT APPROACH
1) It takes lesser guts to carryout unlike the direct approach.
2) The success rate is high. 7times out of 10, you get her real phone number.
3) Easiest way to build up your confidence more with women in general.
4) Even if you get rejected, it won’t be that awkward unlike the direct approach.
3) Easiest way to build up your confidence more with women in general.
4) Even if you get rejected, it won’t be that awkward unlike the direct approach.
DISADVANTAGES OF INDIRECT APPROACH
1) If you’re not wise bro, the indirect approach will lead you straight to the friend zone.
2) Some girls prefer guys that are confident enough to directly approach them. So they might sense you as a weak man if you use it on them.
1) If you’re not wise bro, the indirect approach will lead you straight to the friend zone.
2) Some girls prefer guys that are confident enough to directly approach them. So they might sense you as a weak man if you use it on them.
3) You cannot use the indirect approach if the lady is in a fast motion.
For example; if you see a lady that really caught your attention, walking down the street… you can’t go and be doing unnecessary chit-chat with her.
You have to use the DIRECT approach.
For example; if you see a lady that really caught your attention, walking down the street… you can’t go and be doing unnecessary chit-chat with her.
You have to use the DIRECT approach.
And that’s what I’ll be discussing in the part 3. Anticipate it!
But for the meantime, go and try these techniques out.
Remember, the more you practice something, the more you get good at it.
Any question? Drop it in the comment section.
I’ll talk to you soon bro.
But for the meantime, go and try these techniques out.
Remember, the more you practice something, the more you get good at it.
Any question? Drop it in the comment section.
I’ll talk to you soon bro.
