Sorry for being a bother. I& #39;ll stop now.
It was a fun experiment at least. I could try to push it further, but I just know I& #39;m not cut out for it. At least I can keep it to myself, and change it whenever I need to.

Oh well.
I almost would have preferred someone be critical of me. At least I would know. The silence was just...

unnerving.
Maybe not unnerving, maybe I felt like a bother. Like just jumping up in front of everyone shouting "hey look at this thing I did!"

Shouting louder doesn& #39;t help, it just makes the silence all the more depressing
I kinda just shoved it in people& #39;s faces too. Like who was I kidding. People would ask some surface level questions but I always chickened out anyways.

Why was I even trying to pretend?
People are just busy, I get that. I& #39;m not sure if feining interest is better or worse than just being ignored from the jump.

Maybe I wanted honesty? Like "too much" or "you suck at this"

Silence is just so cruel
Even if people show interest now will it just be out of pity?

I don& #39;t want that. What kind of message does that paint?

"only looked at this cause I felt sorry for the guy."

This might be incredibly depressing and demoralizing, but at least I have my pride.
Maybe I& #39;m learning the wrong lesson from this. But if I& #39;m gonna be subject to silence anyways, might as well embrace it.

I tried, it was ignored, time for it to vanish.
I& #39;m not gonna stop though. I enjoy the process. It& #39;s just sad that no one else will ever get to enjoy the fruits of my labor.

Not that anyone really even cared in the first place
I think ultimately I wanted people to get as excited as I do coming up with stuff.

Nobody& #39;s interested in that level of detail.

I know series with more detail than I could ever hope to come up with that have huge followings that debate the finer points.

Maybe I wanted that?
It was stupid to have that expectation, even as a fantasy.

I just kept chugging along thinking to myself: today& #39;s the day. Someone will notice.

Maybe they& #39;ll have a question
Perhaps even comment on something I didn& #39;t even notice.

That never happened.
And why should it have? What did I do to deserve that?

Its my own fault for having unrealistic expectations
Anyways I& #39;m just tired.

Maybe I& #39;ll delete this thread later. Maybe I& #39;ll leave it up to remind myself of these feelings, so I don& #39;t make the same mistake twice.

I have pretty bad memory
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