This time last year I got accepted to train for ordination in the Church of England. (This is an earnest church feelings thread, sorry). I was raised evangelical, with a conservative tendency. I didn't meet an ordained woman until I was 18.

I also grew up in a range of traditions. As a child I worshipped in Anglican, Presbyterian, Baptist, and Independent churches. When I was 20 I had a conversion experience to the Eucharist in a Lutheran church.

I've studied with Christians from multiple traditions overseas. I lived in a community house that stretched from a Pre-Vatican II Catholic to a Unitarian Universalist. I spent a year living in an Anglican Franciscan friary. I have my own preferences and convictions. But -

I love - LOVE - the practices of multiple traditions. I joke that ecumenism is my spiritual gift because I cry in pretty much any church setting. I am an Anglican because of the Eucharist, because it is the church of my baptism, because it is broad.

Straddling traditions is joyful and awkward and uncomfortable. But watching us tear at each other at a time of global crisis feels like watching divorcing parents fight while the house is on fire. I know the relationship has been difficult for a while.

I know that in some ways they'd be happier apart. I know there are historical and recent hurts. I know that the things they fight about really matter. They are important. They can't just be pushed under the carpet.

But I love them both so much. I want them together. I am naive and sad and selfish and wish they'd focus on getting me out alive instead of arguing over which exit to take out of the burning building.

Because, friends, some of us won't get out of this alive.