The way I felt so ugly as a teenage girl, couldn’t even look myself in the mirror, had emotional breakdowns resulting in self harm as a coping mechanism, & was made fun of for having “male like” physical traits? I really believe all that was a main factor in me transitioning!

It’s so sad when I think back on it. Being an ugly girl was so unbearable. Having my so called best friends tell me my hairline was too high, my lips were too thin, my nose was too big, I was too hairy, my acne was gross, etc. I never felt like I fit in. So much self hate.

And instead of addressing the real problems(my toxic friends, bullying, low self esteem, homophobia, beauty standards, etc) I just...decided I wasn’t a girl at all! And had my therapist and doctors validate the idea!!

The other day my brother introduced me as his sister to someone and I felt instant shame & embarrassment. I was feeling shame because I immediately felt I was being viewed as an ugly woman/a freak. It felt wrong. This is a feeling I would have previously labeled

“dysphoria”. I know now it’s not(as I believe most feelings of dysphoria stem from something else)and I can begin to address the feeling I have in a more healthy and head-on way. It’s really painful & it’s gonna take time, but recognizing and naming emotions is so much better

Than saying I have an incurable condition(gender dysphoria)that can only be alleviated by medically altering my body. I can’t stress enough the importance of butch visibility and recognition, of tomboys, of ugly women, of GNC women. We are not alone or gross or un-woman.

We are breaking stereotypes, we are loving and accepting ourselves unapologetically, we are embracing our female bodies in their beautiful, fully functional and natural state. We are powerful, kind, wise, sensual. Mothers. Lovers. Sisters. Life givers.