Stop telling people what is and isn't cheating. You and your partner lay out your boundaries and rules together. If you can't talk about your comfort levels, boundaries and sexual preferences, you're not ready for a relationship. Communication & honesty is key.

If the person you are considering being with has different boundaries and desires than you, maybe it's not going to work out. If someone wants to change and makes that choice themselves, fine. But don't force someone to change their preferences/boundaries to match yours