I found out today that my friend died. My sadness bloomed like a phantom limb and feels like it& #39;s always been a part of me.

Here& #39;s what they never warn you about, with grief: you will carry it with you onwards, for always. It does not go away.

It only slinks out of view, at times. You can& #39;t see the backpack on your back even if you can feel the weight of it with every step.

Eventually your brain opens up a door to a new room that didn& #39;t exist before. This is where your grief shard now lives. And from time to time, for the rest of your life, you will find your way back to this room and hurt yourself on the sharp edges contained within all over again.

You grow and you go. You keep going. But you have to carry it with you. There is nothing else. A brand-new part of you is both permanent and tender, and you allow the sum of you to become something else altogether.