Read on Twitter
Something so “didn’t happen” happened to me earlier that I didn’t want to tweet it because it’s so ridiculous (even for me) it sounds made up. But I’m still so mortified by it, that I have to tell someone, so I’m telling Twitter (because I have no friends) ...
So I live in a block of flats, and the post is delivered to a communal post area which thankfully is just outside my front door, as my flat is ground floor. So today I stuck my head out, in just my dressing gown, and saw the coast is clear for me to run and grab my post.
So I checked, coast is clear, all good, I darted out and grabbed my post and darted back to my flat. Only. The fucking door had shut behind me.
So I’m now stood there in just a dressing gown. Completely naked underneath. No shoes on. And no way of getting back into my flat. In a communal area. Panic has now set in.
The only way back into my flat, is round the back, through my balcony sliding doors. Although I’m on the ground floor, my balcony is is about 5foot off the ground. At this point I considered faking my own death/a break in, just so the police would kick down my door and let me in
But I decided it’s okay. I can run around the back and just leap over my balcony and let myself in. Nobody will know.
HAH!
HAH!
I had to run around the outside of my flats, butt naked in a dressing gown and then .... which fucking balcony is mine? I’m presented with 20 balconys. I’ve never seen them from this angle. The panic increases.
Eventually I see my balcony. We got a lemon tree last year so that’s the defining feature of my balcony. I know it’s mine.
BUT OF COURSE IT WASNT WAS IT
BUT OF COURSE IT WASNT WAS IT
So now I’m butt fucking naked trying to haul myself over the balcony of someone else’s flat. I’m crying at this point by the way. Because of course I am. A crying naked stranger trying to break into your flat. Then the owner comes out and is like “Hi Perri”. Ok he knows my name
He just casually points to the balcony next door and was like “I think you got the wrong place haha”.
I had to then SLIDE BACK DOWN HIS BALCONY, BURNING MY FANNY THE WHOLE WAY DOWN THE POLE.
So you think that’s bad enough. THEN, IN MY ANXIOUS STATE, I DECIDED TO SAY
I had to then SLIDE BACK DOWN HIS BALCONY, BURNING MY FANNY THE WHOLE WAY DOWN THE POLE.
So you think that’s bad enough. THEN, IN MY ANXIOUS STATE, I DECIDED TO SAY
