A small affirmation for systems:

It’s ok for you, both collectively and individually, to just exist.

It’s ok to not know things, and to not have meaning to your existence.

(1/14, talking about pressure to know, have meaning, & analyze)

#didosdd
#dissociativeidentitydisorder
There’s a lot of pressure in parts of the community to know everything about yourselves, or to have meaning to your existence - here’s your daily reminder that you don’t have to. You can just exist as yourselves, and let pieces fall into place later - if they ever do.
It’s ok to exist without knowing about your trauma. You’re not required to know what happened or what may have caused your system to be valid. You don’t have to put pieces of the past together before existing as yourselves. Many times, trying to find out by yourself is dangerous!
It’s ok to exist without a specific role! Systemmates don’t fall neatly into boxes. Roles like “protector” have popped up in the community - these are commonalities, not requirements. You can exist with no roles at all. You are yourself, and it’s ok to find your own path.
Furthermore, it’s ok to not know why a system member exists. Upon discovering a new face, it’s not instantly required to do discovery work to analyze why they exist, or why they split off. There’s a lot of steps to knowing that, and “I don’t know” is perfectly ok answer.
It’s ok to just exist as yourself, without meaning. Not everything about you has to have a reason - your brown hair, blue eyes, fondness for tea, carefully picked name, and love of books can exist solely for you.
Sometimes it’s helpful to analyze why someone in particular has a trait to better understand why they split, trauma, ect - but not every detail like this necessarily has a meaning or a reason. Sometimes, alters pick names for fun, or find interests simply because they like them.
Trying to find reasons for each and every detail can be exhausting, counterproductive, and end up putting alters further into boxes they feel they can’t escape from. Talk to your system about this, especially those that you are analyzing.
As a system, we experienced a lot of pressure to know before we were ready. We created reasons about ourselves that didn’t really exist, because we felt we HAD to know everything - everything about us had to have a meaning.

And needless to say, it took awhile to undo that.
Everyone has a different path to healing, and it takes a different amount of time to get there - and for many folks in this community, they might just not be there yet. For others, they might simply exist in another way. And that’s ok.
Creating a culture where everyone must always be doing deep introspective work to discover the traumatic meanings behind their traits and existence is harmful for those who aren’t ready to do that yet.
Futhermore, people in this community can take different paths to healing than the psychoanalytic way. While some people might not be ready to analyze, others may heal in ways that aren’t focused on analysis. Emphasis on analysis as the only path to healing is incorrect & harmful.
Systems can (and do!) feel pressured to analyze parts of themselves that aren’t ready to be heard. They can feel pressured to find meaning where it doesn’t exist. They can feel pressured to try to find trauma. They can feel pressured to take a certain healing path.
It’s ok to take a slower path to discovery and healing. Remember, our goal is not to instantly have a deep complex understanding of ourselves - it’s to be happy and grounded in the present moment.

And there’s many, many different paths to that happiness.
You can follow @TheRingsSystem.
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