Dear British lady ‘I love my cleaner’ twitter: I cleaned your houses when I was the single mother of a toddler. I despised every last one of you and would’ve cheerfully lobbed a brick through your window had you told the internet how *proud* I was to be elbow deep in your toilets

Shout out to the woman who used to leave her skanky George Forman grill for me to scrape out every Friday morning. And to the one whose hoover didn’t work, necessitating 2 hours on my hands & knees with a stiff brush. And to the ones who followed me around the house, all casual

And here’s to all the pubic hair, skid marks, and puke stains. Pay your cleaners to stay at home during a pandemic. It’s the absolute least you can do.