I have a lot of time for the whole #RegrettingMotherhood genre.
Well, I say that, but I've only skimmed this because of course I *don't* have a lot of time for *anything* because *I'm a mother.*

http://www.macleans.ca/regretful-mothers/ via @macleans

I genuinely don't actually regret motherhood – my kids are awesome and are finally big enough that I enjoy them hugely a lot more than, well, not – but it is also true that it has fucked up my life in ways that I'm far from recovering from.

I think I might have been at least as happy without kids. I would not have regretted *not* having them. But if I knew then, etc: I probably would still choose motherhood. Which is odd, really, since it was kind of a toss-up in the first place.

Anyway: I think the discourse skews far too heavily towards "oh but you'll change your mind/you'll regret it" and a LOT more needs to be said about the flip side.

I also think there's a major problem with *how* motherhood is discussed. Specifically, how mothers are not heard.

You know that Grimes pregnancy post: "wow I so wasn't prepared haha nobody told me"?

How many times have you heard that?

Now, how many times have you *had* this conversation yourself? As a mother, how many times have you spoken (irl or online) about how fucking hard it is?

Because I can tell you, that conversation is happening. A lot.

But people who are not (yet) mothers are not listening. It's just "mommy talk". It's boring. It's stupid. It's not relevant.

And then... the shock. Why DID nobody tell me what it was really like?!

I very clearly remember how I used to switch off. I remember how I was supported in that by the broader assumption that moms really shouldn't bother talking about mommy stuff in public, ew, gross. Stupid. Boring. Who cares.

Shit's messed up. That's all.