How do you engage with online transphobia?

Some questions for trans folk to think through. (A thread)

(1) How much time do you spend arguing with transphobes on the internet? Write down an estimate of the hours per day, per week. Do you feel good about how you've spent that time?

(2) When you've been arguing with transphobes on the internet, how do you feel afterwards? Write down some emotions you feel. Where in your body do you feel those emotions? What do you do to deal with those emotions when you feel them?

(3) Do you have trouble getting to sleep because you are thinking about online arguments you've had with transphobes? Are you lying awake thinking of new lines of argument? When you wake up, how many minutes is it before you replay the argument, or begin it again?

(4) Other than arguing with transphobes, what other forms of political engagement do you have as a trans person? Write them down.

How much time per day, per week do you spend on them? Note that.

How do you feel doing other forms of trans politics? Note those feelings down too.

(5) When you talk to other trans people, do you mostly talk about:
- What shitty thing transphobes have done?
- What sucks about being trans?
- What's great about being trans?
- Stuff that isn't to do with transness?

(6) When you think or write about trans politics, are you mostly thinking and writing rebuttals to transphobia?

Answer these questions: What kind of politics does being trans make possible? What do trans people bring to feminism, to liberatory struggle generally?

(7) Why do you choose to engage with online transphobia? Write down all the reasons you can think of. Mark which ones you think are good, constructive reasons. Mark which ones are reasons rooted in trauma and self-harm. Now rank the reasons honestly by strongest motivation.

(8) Do you have a mental map of how different transphobic groups are connected? Do you know the names of prominent transphobes? Do you know personal details about their lives? Do you know their weak spots? Do you check their feed regularly? How do you feel about this knowledge?

(9) How much time do you spend researching transphobic organisation, argument and culture? Write down an estimate of hours per day, per week.

How much time do you spend research trans history, thought and culture? Write down an estimate of hours per day, per week. Compare.

(10) Now that you've answered these questions, do you want to change how you engage with online transphobia? What changes would you like to make? How can you support yourself in making them? Who can help you make these changes? Write down your answers.

I'm not asking these questions from a position of superiority or judgement. I'm asking them from love and from my own experience of engagement. They are all questions I ask of myself regularly.

I know that there is useful work to be done in mapping transphobia, in some forms of online engagement with transphobia.

I am worried, though, about how much of trans culture is being built around "fighting transphobia" rather than "loving trans people".

I know that my main reason for fighting online transphobes was insecurity in my transness. I had to fight my own doubts, to prove their arguments wrong. But it never worked, and ust fuelled my self-hatred. I only felt better when I practised unconditional self-acceptance.

I realised that I had given online transphobes an enormous amount of space in my brain. That I knew more about them than about myself and my trans history.

The more I have redirected my energy towards other trans people, & our art and history, the better I've felt.

I hope these questions are helpful to you. I'd like to hear if they were. Feel free to take them, copy/paste them, do whatever you want with them. I'd like to hear how to ask better and more supportive questions too. I love you and I love your transness.