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I& #39;ve been chirping all day about a rude email I got this morning and my husband said "don& #39;t you have better things to do than put people on your list"? The answer is - absolutely not! I curate my mental list of people who dissed me almost daily - I love my list...
My "list of people who dissed me" is a mental spreadsheet that I have committed to memory. I can sort data chronologically, or by insult issue area, or by gender, or by topic, or by severity of insult...
For example, a Very Senior Male Scholar who came to me after my keynote address at a Very Prestigious University and said "I never expected you to have such a strong accent" - immediately got on the list.
A fellow grad student from my MA program who said that everyone he met from "my region" was feisty - on the fucking list he goes.
A woman I played a doubles tennis match against, who, after we won, at the netpost handshake looked at my doubles partner and said to *her* and her alone: "you played really well." On the list.
Oh speaking of tennis, the woman who on the first day of the pandemic defaulted me from our match since we couldn& #39;t play so she could get 12 victory points and advance on our league leaderboard. On. The. List.
The family member who I made plans to meet for dinner in a city while I was conferencing, after I told all my friends I had a family obligation and couldn& #39;t do fun stuff with them, then totally stood me up and bailed "because she was tired". Oh, she& #39;s on the list.
Oh special list entry for the person who told me I shouldn& #39;t have written my book on My Topic because everything good on the Topic has already been written. Oh, this person& #39;s on the list.
I mean, I& #39;m sure you can see that I could go on for ever. My list is incredibly important to me. My list is special and a guiding light to my balanced, mature, adult life.
