can’t talk right now i’m nesting...

i hate going out in public bc of my anxiety but i will do it for the sake of home improvement

i made this shirt to let ppl know that i *don’t* enjoy having my appearance commented on by strangers in public...how would they know if i didn’t tell them, right?

admittedly my mental illness has genetic roots but strangers constantly stopping me to tell me what they think about the way i look is really trigger for me and im trying to figure out ways to mitigate that so that i can stop being such a hermit

idk if it’s bc i’m nuero divergent, emotionally immature, ignorant, or what but i’m so tired of ppl asking me to participate in their worship of eurocentric beauty standards just bc i happen to fit that mold

it bothers me on so many levels that i don’t even fullly understand yet and i don’t have the time or energy to even try to explain it to those who truly do want to know right now which is frustrating

it’s one of the reasons i cut my hair off in 2015 and why i’ve been isolating for the last five years...i can’t handle it emotionally right now...it makes me want to scream at ppl and i don’t like screaming at ppl so i isolate instead...

the isolation isn’t sustainable though...that has become clear to me now and it’s scary to think about coming out of my shell and trying to create healthy relationships with the ppl around me as this new version of myself but it’s gotta be done

integration is an uncomfortable but worthwhile process...we’re all connected and when one of us is off balance so are the rest...self-care is community-care...etc

can you tell from this thread that i ate some shrooms today?