nmj and blindness: a few thoughts on perception, straightforwardness, and the cql nie promotion scene

nmj standing up for my in the flashback is framed as a heroic, moving scene - nmj watches the group talking shit about my and not only defends him but promotes him, thus affirming his value and silencing the insults, however

one of the things the group was saying about my prior to the interruption, is that he’s always looking for advancement, and what has nmj done? advanced him, seemingly out of nowhere, for essentially having been particularly diligent about chores, and that’s the sort of thing that

can really create resentment in a group, especially when they’ve been collectively shamed. it’s terrible management carried through with sheer force of presence, and it establishes nmj’s physical presence as the only effective block against the comments, which we know will

continue when nmj isn’t around. and then there’s the public advice he gives my that seems to acknowledge this, when he says to stand straight and be just and give those that would speak against him nothing to say. and that’s great advice - for someone like nmj, with his security

and the physical power to back it up, but less so for someone like my, who no matter what he does or how righteously he lives, is always going to invite comment purely for the fact of his existence. and that’s the problem that nmj’s well-meaning, decent act doesn’t cover -

nmj made a clear, decisive action - that should be the end of it, but it’s not and how could it be when it’s resting on all this simmering tension (which in some ways echoes how the nie practice cultivation), and he cannot reconcile those two things

from that, it makes sense that nmj can’t distinguish when the music changes from clarity to turmoil, because from where he’s standing it is enough to be clear and decisive, and he has no reason to examine a situation in its full complexity

this thread’s a little bit of a mess, but i really do find the nmj situation, what he looks at, what he doesn’t, and how it all contrasts with the nie cultivation techniques extremely fascinating