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I've been thinking a lot about the phrase "it takes a village to raise a child." It's one of those things we all hear, and which takes different meanings in different contexts.
Right now, I think it's very obvious the ways in which community come together to rear kids.
Right now, I think it's very obvious the ways in which community come together to rear kids.
Parents are struggling to work and care for their children from home. There is no school, no day care, and often no babysitters, grandparents, or close friends to help shoulder the responsibility.
Personally, I was very lucky to have my mother come up once a week to help out, whether that was to take care of the baby while James and I did something else, or just to be with us, taking care of little things while we did baby stuff.
As I look around the apartment, I think how useful it would be to have just one more adult to lend a hand. I read something recently that said breastfeeding for one year is approximately 1800 hours of having a baby on your breast.
That doesn't include all the other things you do to maintain an infant, whether difficult or pleasurable. And I realized that I didn't grow up in a nuclear family, and neither did my mother. We all lived with grandparents, and close to cousins.
I don't regret moving out of my home state, but I spend a lot of time thinking about how my independence has caused me to separate myself from cultural practices that are rooted in community, and that are actually quite beneficial.
Family is complicated, especially when you're a descendant of recent immigrants. There are a lot of expectations to better yourself because of the life they worked hard to give you, but also responsibilities to them -- and guilt if you choose to leave.
So right now, "it takes a village to raise a child" means, to me, that I was never supposed to parent with just my husband. I was supposed to have a community of people who could come and lend a hand -- and that includes willing and wonderful friends.
This pandemic has taken that option away from me for the time being. It's taken that option away from scores of parents, with children of all ages. And it's taken children away from other loving relationships.
Anyway, I miss my mom.
Anyway, I miss my mom.
