I delayed tweeting all of this but here I go... my own experience as an ex-anti #SupportExAntis

I was never really in any specific anti circles, but I do remember being especially horrible to one particular content creator for a prompt I found horrifying for me at the time: Character A grooming Character B, which never happened in the series' canon proper.

We were friends within the same fandom, but I never knew she were into dark prompts beforehand, so I felt betrayed: how can anyone be so into something so wicked? so after calling her out on her content on my own, she called me out back for being "self-centred".

Unsurprisingly, since I was barely legal (18) in a small fandom space full of 20+ adults, no one sided with me, so out of shame, I deactivated, never pressing this subject matter ever again...

...until a few years later, when I found a particularly horrible fictional character interesting for their flaws and all, even including canonically drugging another character to achieve their means. This character is still highly controversial among fans.

I loved this character so much that I started looking up other fans' reactions to them, and at the time, expected for a then-villain, reception was largely negative. I understood. They were a villain, after all.

it was until I looked up other fans' negative reactions to the idea of shipping this character with the character they drugged (they were one of my OTPs): "don't befriend me if you ship AB", "if you ship AB you should feel bad", etc. that I finally realised-

-the damage I caused that particular content creator from back then:

is this how she felt when I called her out on an entirely fictional, non-canon content, when I am here shipping a character with the character who tortured them?

I started ignoring shipping input from fandoms at large since, and I can now say I feel comfortable enjoying shipping no matter how messed up it is.

as I was never part of any communities and pretty much came on anti ways of thinking on my own I cannot speak for those brought up in one, but I hope this thread serves to let you know how freeing it is to let go of those ways and start exploring on your own! #SupportExAntis

(as a side note is it ever too late to properly apologise to that person for what I did... she doesn't have to forgive me but I'm better now)