I've been thinking about this for a while since I translated the Happy Beans Day Event for Twst, and I wanted to take a moment and talk about fan-translations as someone whose day job is to professionally translate/localize Japanese games to English. It's nothing bad, I promise.
My main subject is the fact that fan-translators (hereafter referred to as "fan TLers" or "TLers") generally lean toward a very literal and direct translation style, which I totes understand. There's a lot of pressure on TLers to deliver info from the original Jpn text
into their target lang, esp since fans will often take the translations (hereafter referred to as "TLs") as the Word of God (due to a lack of official or otherwise centralized translation). This means fans will often use fan TLs as proof of canon events and chara behavior.
This is a lot of pressure on the TLers! Responsible TLers will obvs try their best to keep personal biases out of their works while providing the most accurate TLs, but this also makes them try to stick as closely as possible to the original formatting and wording of the
source material.

The thing is, though, trying to copy the source materials' format/wording 100% inevitably results in TLs that are awkward and difficult to read, due to how clunky they are. I can only speak for Jpn and En, but the two languages are Nothing Alike. Lmao
That's why direct TLs are so messy and why it's important (for me, as a professional translator) to smooth things out, either by rewording/reordering phrases, adding or removing information, or jumping through a lot of hoops. I'll give you some examples from Twst's Bean event.
Jpn word ordering is completely different from En, and there are times when reordering lines will benefit your TL greatly. Example:

Crewel: おりこうにおすわりしろ、子犬ども。これより明日行われるナイトレブンコレッジ伝統行事……
Crewel: 『ハッピービーンズ』のための組み分けをする。
Literally translated, it would be,

C: Be good and sit, puppies. Now, for the sake of Night Raven College's traditional event...
C: Happy Beans Day, I will split you into teams.

Ehh, okay. It's not incomprehensible, but we can do better.
Like this:

C: Take your seats, pups. Tomorrow will be our school’s storied event, Happy Beans Day.
C: In preparation for it, you will all be split into two teams.

I took out some info but the TL still makes sense, and see how not splitting the sentence makes it flow better?
Sometimes, the original material can have a lot of extra information that just won't translate well in English either.

Here's another example:

Ace: 来たな、単純バカ農氏デュース!
Deuce: なにっ!怪物チーム!待ち伏せだと!?
Literally translated, it would be

A: You've come, stupid Deuce from the Peasant Team!
D: What? The Beast Team?! You were lying in wait?!

Which, okay, it's alright. But it's kinda awkward and not very natural to read, is it?
This is what I did for it,

A: There you are, stupid Deuce!
D: What the—?! Were you two waiting in ambush?!

Some info was omitted yes, but it wasn't essential, and it makes the TL smoother. The most important thing is that the tone and overall info are still correctly conveyed.
Okay, but what if the opposite were true? Jpn is a very concise language that often leaves most of its meanings in implications instead of full sentences. If lines were literally translated without reiterating the context or adding more info, things could be hard to understand.
Take this for example.

Grim: 結局、ジェイドとはぐれちまったんだゾ。

Literally translated, it'd be,

G: In the end, we were separated from Jade.
There's technically nothing wrong with this, but with if more info was added, the line would retain more of its original nuance.

G: We ended up separated from Jade even though we waited for him.

This way, the feeling of, "Dammit, we still got separated," is preserved.
But here's the thing with fan translations: There's no client to please or style guides to follow. This is your work for yourself (and fans, I guess), and you should absolutely be allowed to have fun!
Just like how you don't need to stick with the source material completely, you can exercise some artistic liberties too.

Add slang or memes to chara voices if that's what you think will match them the most. Draw out their personality!

Wanna know one of my fave lines from my TL?
Leona: ああ……お前、運動神経すこぶる悪そうだもんな。
Ruggie: アズールくんの飛行術、目も当てられないっすもんねぇ。

Literally translated, it'd be,

L: Ah... You look like you have terrible reflexes.
R: Azul-kun's flying is so bad, I can't even watch him.
I ended up with

L: Oh yeah, aren't you like the shittiest in PE?
R: Azul-kun’s so terrible during flying lessons, I can’t even bear to watch him.

But Leona's line's completely different! Fair, but both the tone & meaning is retained, and it also flows better into Ruggie's line.
And this is where my claim to artistic license kicks in because, even though the more literal translation works, the one I went with better emphasizes what a bastard Leona is.

But why stop there? You can even be witty and add some Bad Puns™ in for funsies!
Azul: 使用時には巨大化し、容易に農氏チームを捕縛することを可能にする魔法道具です。

Literally,

A: It's a magical tool that becomes enormous when used and can easily capture members of the Peasant Team.
This is what I did in the end. It looks a bit awkward without the previous line, but you can get the gist of things.

A: However, when worn, it will make your arm enormous. This magical tool is quite HANDY, let’s say, for capturing members from the Peasant Team.
Honestly, I don't even have a real reason for adding in that pun, but I hope it made people laugh/cringe. Lmfao

Anyway, here's my bottom line for people who like doing translating things:
You shouldn't feel pressured to stick 100% to the source material. What you should do is aim for a TL that, WITHOUT the context of the original text, makes sense and reads fluidly. If you can't read the TL alone without going, "???" then sth probably needs to be fixed.
But at the same time, have fun! Obvs don't take such outrageous artistic liberties that things don't make sense anymore or completely diverge from canon, but you should enjoy what you're doing! Add some personal flair into your works and keep trying to improve your skills!
That's all I have for you. Sorry this got so long, thanks for reading, and feel free to drop me questions if you have any!
Oh yeah, forgot to mention, but I was taking references out of my own translations here. Lol https://twitter.com/algidwind/status/1255094371269017601?s=20
You can follow @algidwind.
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