I just this moment realized why I have such an intense and unreasonable dislike of all OAT clinic staff... because the entire experience is so demoralizing and humiliating that I feel like a piece of human waste and I feel like they’re complicit in it, whether knowingly or not

so punitive and restrictive and just awful. Imagine being treated this way for needing heart pills or some shit

and it takes me to my worst possible place and triggers me and I lash out. It serves *NOBODY* to make the experience this unpleasant when the tools are being offered.

we just need more doctors, a critical mass of young, daring addictions doctors who are willing to prescribe in ways that are available to us now under covid. and then continue.