Read on Twitter
Writing grammatically correct dialogue: a thread by someone who had grammar drilled into her head in middle school
I’ll be using examples from my fics and censoring names as well. I don’t know if dialogue is taught differently in different schools but this is what I learned.
I’ll be using examples from my fics and censoring names as well. I don’t know if dialogue is taught differently in different schools but this is what I learned.
1. When a direct dialogue verb is used (say, state, comment, etc.), use a comma INSIDE the quotation mark.
For example:
“One of these days, we’re going to get the cops called on us,” Yxnho says.
Note that the comma is BEFORE the end quote.
For example:
“One of these days, we’re going to get the cops called on us,” Yxnho says.
Note that the comma is BEFORE the end quote.
-If a noun/pronoun (he, she, it, they, the *insert noun here*), is used before the dialogue verb, the noun/pronoun is LOWERCASE. If I were to modify the quote above to ‘he,’ it would read:
“One of these days, we’re going to get the cops called on us,” he says.
“One of these days, we’re going to get the cops called on us,” he says.
-The same rule applies to question/exclamation marks. If a dialogue verb is used but it’s a question/exclamation (ask, inquired, shout, scream, etc.), the mark goes inside the quote, and the noun/pronoun following the quote is LOWERCASE.
-The exception to this rule is if the noun is a proper noun. So, the name of a person. Using the previous example, there is still a comma before the quote, but Yxnho’s name is UPPERCASE because it’s a PROPER NOUN.
Random examples of correct dialogue w/ points from above:
“You look the part, if I’m being honest,” he comments.
“One of these days, we’re going to get the cops called on us,” Yxnho says.
“Are you really, truly worried about that?” he asks.
“You look the part, if I’m being honest,” he comments.
“One of these days, we’re going to get the cops called on us,” Yxnho says.
“Are you really, truly worried about that?” he asks.
2. Sometimes, a direct dialogue verb isn’t used, and instead, there is narration. For example:
“Oh, I don’t use packets. I have them put it in for me. They’re usually good at eyeballing it.” Sxn slurps the coffee again, his eyes not once leaving Wxxyoung’s.
“Oh, I don’t use packets. I have them put it in for me. They’re usually good at eyeballing it.” Sxn slurps the coffee again, his eyes not once leaving Wxxyoung’s.
-Note how I didn’t use a dialogue verb and instead narrated that Sxn slurped his coffee. Because I didn’t use a dialogue verb, the quote ends with a PERIOD. I reopened the dialogue after, so the entire passage looked like this:
“Oh, I don’t use the packets. I have them put it in for me. They’re usually good at eyeballing it.” Sxn slurps the coffee again, his eyes not once leaving Wxxyoung’s. “But I assume you use the packets because you want it to be exact.”
Sometimes, narration is inserted in between dialogue (using a direct dialogue verb or not). For example:
“Hey, Sxn,” Wxxyoung croaks, throat swelling up again despite having replenished it moments ago, “can you kiss me?”
“Hey, Sxn,” Wxxyoung croaks, throat swelling up again despite having replenished it moments ago, “can you kiss me?”
-If I were to have written that without the narration (just the dialogue), it would read:
“Hey, Sxn, can you kiss me?”
But because I inserted the narration, I ended the first section with a comma, and reopened it AFTER a comma, before the quote. The C in can is LOWERCASE.
“Hey, Sxn, can you kiss me?”
But because I inserted the narration, I ended the first section with a comma, and reopened it AFTER a comma, before the quote. The C in can is LOWERCASE.
-However, this doesn’t always ring true, depending on how the author wants to write the dialogue. For example, I could’ve reopened the quote with the C in ‘can’ bring uppercase, but I would have to end the narration with a period. It would look like this:
“Hey, Sxn,” Wxxyoung croaks, throat swelling up again despite having replenished it moments ago. “Can you kiss me?”
Without the narration, the dialogue would be:
“Hey, Sxn. Can you kiss me?”
Without the narration, the dialogue would be:
“Hey, Sxn. Can you kiss me?”
-Sometimes, just the subject and dialogue word can be used. For example, I could shorten the previous example to:
“Hey, Sxn, Wxxyoung croaks, “can you kiss me?”
The narration in between is up to the author, but the grammar rules mentioned before still apply.
“Hey, Sxn, Wxxyoung croaks, “can you kiss me?”
The narration in between is up to the author, but the grammar rules mentioned before still apply.
Personally I’m not a huge stickler for how people write sentences. I associate periods with pauses/dips in inflection of voice. How one wants to write the dialogue in terms of inflection is a stylistic choice. I’m more concerned with the placement of commas/periods within quotes.
Random examples:
“I liked it when we kissed last,” Wxxyoung says. “And I want to remember it again.”
“You just went to sleep for a bit,” Yunho tells him, chuckling. “Sxn has to use the bathroom so he rested you up against the sofa.”
“I liked it when we kissed last,” Wxxyoung says. “And I want to remember it again.”
“You just went to sleep for a bit,” Yunho tells him, chuckling. “Sxn has to use the bathroom so he rested you up against the sofa.”
3. PLEASE: IF A NEW PERSON IS SPEAKING, START A NEW PASSAGE.
Incorrect:
“One of these days, we’re going to get the cops called on us,” Yxnho says. “Are you really, truly worried about that?” Wxxyoung asks.
PRESS THE ENTER KEY IN BETWEEN SPEAKERS. P L E A S E.
Incorrect:
“One of these days, we’re going to get the cops called on us,” Yxnho says. “Are you really, truly worried about that?” Wxxyoung asks.
PRESS THE ENTER KEY IN BETWEEN SPEAKERS. P L E A S E.
-If the same person is speaking, you don’t have to start a new passage.
Example:
“Of course not, Wxxyoung.” Yxnho’s reply is low, laced with an equal amount of diabolicality. “We’re partners in crime, after all.”
Since it’s still Yxnho speaking, it can be in the same passage.
Example:
“Of course not, Wxxyoung.” Yxnho’s reply is low, laced with an equal amount of diabolicality. “We’re partners in crime, after all.”
Since it’s still Yxnho speaking, it can be in the same passage.
-Note that not every line of dialogue s to indicate who’s speaking, especially if there are only 2 people. If you start a new passage each time, it indicates that a different person is speaking. You can write a dialogue exchange without the subjects/verbs sometimes.
Example:
“You draw?” Sxn asks.
“Clearly,” Wxxyoung mutters, still not bothering to look up.
“It looks nice. I like the simplicity of the stick figure versus the complexity of the waves you got going on there.”
“Thanks.”
“You draw?” Sxn asks.
“Clearly,” Wxxyoung mutters, still not bothering to look up.
“It looks nice. I like the simplicity of the stick figure versus the complexity of the waves you got going on there.”
“Thanks.”
-I started out by clarifying Sxn was speaking. Then, I started a new passage with Wxxyoung. The third passage indicates Sxn is the next speaker, then back to Wxxyoung. Dialogue CAN be written this way, but I suggest adding narration so it doesn’t look too choppy.
-If there are 3+ people in an exchange, you may have to clarify more. However, you don’t always have to use the subject-verb indication. Sometimes you can just use narration (nonverbal actions, body language, etc.) to indicate who is speaking.
Example:
“Do you do acid, Wxxyoung-ah?”
“Weed is about as bad as I’ve gotten.”
Sxn is smiling just like he always does. Hongjxxng turns to him with confused eyes but a genuine smile. “Your friend is weird.”
“You don’t know the half of it,” Sxn tells him.
“Do you do acid, Wxxyoung-ah?”
“Weed is about as bad as I’ve gotten.”
Sxn is smiling just like he always does. Hongjxxng turns to him with confused eyes but a genuine smile. “Your friend is weird.”
“You don’t know the half of it,” Sxn tells him.
-The quote doesn’t have prior context (jxxng is speaking first) but note how the question indicates the Wxxyoung is answering. The third passage indicates jxxng is speaking again because of the action (turning, smiling). Then, Sxn is clarified being the last speaker.
4. Words that aren’t really speaking verbs (laugh, sigh, etc.) can be used as a direct dialogue verb. Sometimes I use them as one, sometimes I don’t. It depends on how I imagine the character says something. If someone is saying something WHILE sighing, I’ll write ‘he sighs.’
5. Punctuation marks such as ellipses (...), em dashes (—), and hyphens (-) can be effective when it comes to the inflection of voice (I was taught ellipses are improper to use but fuck that lol)
-I use ellipses when someone trails off or sounds hesitant. If I end a quote with ellipses, the same grammar rules apply. Treat ellipses as you would periods/commas depending on what comes after the dialogue.
-I use em dashes (the big dash —) when someone is cut off or stops talking abruptly. I use hyphens (the small dash -)to indicate stuttering/stammering.
6. I was always taught that the combination of a question mark and exclamation mark (?!) is improper in dialogue, so I don’t use it. If someone exclaims a question, I’ll simply use a question mark with a dialogue verb that indicates exclamation (scream, shout, yell)
7. Use italics when you want to put emphasis on a word (not just dialogue, but in general too). I use italics pretty often, probably not properly, but eh. It can make dialogue intense.
8. If you’re quoting something within a quote, use the single quotation mark (‘) inside the double (“)
Random example:
“So I was talking to Sxn last night, and he was like, ‘Wxxyoung, why didn’t you do your laundry?’”
Random example:
“So I was talking to Sxn last night, and he was like, ‘Wxxyoung, why didn’t you do your laundry?’”
-in that example, Wxxyoung is speaking, but he’s quoting what Sxn said. You put whatever Sxn said inside the double quotes, but use single quotes around it, and punctuation mark STAYS INSIDE ALL THE QUOTES.
9. Relaying back to point 1 (sorry this is a mess) the subject-verb usage can happen before the quote opens as well. Example:
Yxnho says, “One of these days, we’re going to get the cops called on us.”
The comma goes BEFORE the quote, outside of it.
Yxnho says, “One of these days, we’re going to get the cops called on us.”
The comma goes BEFORE the quote, outside of it.
For a more detailed guide with more examples, you can look at my post on tumblr here: https://cosmicmingi.tumblr.com/post/188038695334/writing-dialogue-tips-w-athena
