now that i know that it& #39;s bpd awareness month i just want to talk about my personal experience with bpd for a little bit!
since i was 19 i knew that i had bpd, but i was not properly diagnosed with it until i was 26. i& #39;m 28 now.
since i was 19 i knew that i had bpd, but i was not properly diagnosed with it until i was 26. i& #39;m 28 now.
for the longest time i was diagnosed with either bipolar 2 or npd, and any time i had asked about if there was a possibility i had bpd, my doctors didn& #39;t take me seriously and said that "if we diagnose you with that, you won& #39;t get the help you need"
this went on for years.
this went on for years.
and because of being diagnosed incorrectly until i was 26, i spent so much time and resources on medicine and therapy that didn& #39;t help me heal. it was terrible.
i didn& #39;t even know that dbt & cbt therapy were options for me until i was diagnosed correctly.
i didn& #39;t even know that dbt & cbt therapy were options for me until i was diagnosed correctly.
but even with being diagnosed correctly with bpd and my other stuff, there are times i& #39;m not taken seriously.
when my mom found out, she sent me a bpd & #39;self-help& #39; book titled "sometimes i act crazy" and at the time she would rather me read a book about it than talk to her.
when my mom found out, she sent me a bpd & #39;self-help& #39; book titled "sometimes i act crazy" and at the time she would rather me read a book about it than talk to her.
it honestly made me so angry and hurt me emotionally, so i didn& #39;t talk about having bpd & what i was going through for the longest time. because i didn& #39;t want people to see me as this evil mentally ill person.
i only trusted talking to my therapists and my very close friends.
i only trusted talking to my therapists and my very close friends.
i won& #39;t go into specific details, but for those of you who don& #39;t know me irl, 2018 was honestly one of the worst years for me, and my bpd was so unmanageable that i had to be in an outpatient program for over 6 months. i was constantly tired and exhausted.
that outpatient program, and the weekly therapy i did afterwards helped me so much however, and i was finally able to get the help that i have been needing since i was 19. i also constantly struggle with cptsd, depression and anxiety.
ALSO lemme just fucking say really quick, that there are more resources for those who live with or are close to someone who has bpd, but there are still limited resources for people who actually have it. which is complete and utter nonsense and needs to be fixed.
this thread was longer than expected, but i really wanted and needed to talk about my experience.
all i want is to be a good & supportive friend to people, and heal from my trauma so i don& #39;t become like my abusers. please listen to people you know who have bpd.
all i want is to be a good & supportive friend to people, and heal from my trauma so i don& #39;t become like my abusers. please listen to people you know who have bpd.