@jnicolemorgan Hi J. Nichole. I just have been reflecting back on the few days, wondering how in the world this all ended up playing out like this. On my end, it was truly bizarre and confusing.

In less than 24 hours, I went from crying in my studio, excitedly and passionately working overtime on a podcast to try to help pull apart the harmful story in our society that fat is bad for anyone who might need to hear that to....

getting messages like this 24 hours later about my 5-year-old daughter with Down Syndrome from the community that I had hoped to bring love to:

“white xn men tho. the audacity. when we was like “should I not speak up for my differently abled daughter??” I was like, “no. Ya shouldn’t She has her own voice twatwaffle. But do tell us what her special abilities are. I hope it’s flying.”

So I’ve been wondering, how did we get from point A to point B? And it all sort of started with you and I. So I’ve been thinking this afternoon about our exchange and how it set the tone for everything that so many people were hearing from me in my subsequent responses.

Through that entire first couple of days, I was so confused. Time after time, I was saying things like: (and these are all real tweets I’m quoting)

"We always have and always will really value finding the voices of people who have been oppressed, shamed, and silenced on the podcast. And I'm sorry that this one wasn't good enough with that. We will try to do better in the future. Thank you for your passionate voice/advocacy”

“I’m listening to all of the people in this thread and their pain. I feel it deeply and want to do everything I can to fight for and lift up the voices of people who have suffered the most from fat stigma and body shame.”

“I’m so sorry that it caused you to hurt.” “I am so very sorry for any and all hurtful impact that this episode or my communication about it has had on anyone.”

And time after time, the replies were not in line with the energy I felt like I was putting out. I was so confused as people called me names. Shouted at me in all caps. Called me a “defensive, wounded arrogant ass” who who was committing “a supreme act of twisting all of our work

”. A “total POS.” A “total tool.” who was using “manipulative bullshit” when I said I believed I used an example that I felt I had the right to speak up for my daughter.

This all may sound like I’m playing the victim in this whole scenario. I know I am not a victim. I have a ton of privilege and influence and I truly want to use all of it to serve, love, and amplify the voices of those who do not have that same power.

But I also just can’t believe that things have gone this far awry. It’s hard for me to understand how the things that have been said in your threads by your followers that have gone so far to feel like threats to me and my family have gone uncontested or unchecked by people who

I want to believe really are in this for the love of themselves and their neighbors.

So I’m just writing you directly to first apologize for hurting you in my responses to you. While I don’t understand how I was so misheard between my communication’s intentions and the impact of that communication, I can recognize that I was obviously incredibly unskillful here

And for that I’m very sorry. I had and have no intention of silencing you or the important things you have to teach the world.

When I suggested that you “maybe listen” (the two words that seemed to really start this whole twitter mess) before quote tweeting about the content of the podcast you hadn’t listened to, I wasn’t thinking that you NEEDED to listen to me or this podcast.

I didn’t assume I had anything to teach you about fatness or especially about your experience of being in your body. None whatsoever. I simply and naively thought (as I literally was rolling out of bed that morning still half-asleep) that maybe it would ease your mind to know

that there were a bunch of other voices on it that weren’t included in the tweet you quoted. I was obviously wrong about this. I know you have zero obligation to listen to something that feels less than safe for you, and I’m so sorry for any disrespect or hurt that you felt in

that or any other tweet that made you feel unheard or disrespected in any way.

I don’t know what else to say, but I do wish you the best of luck in your endeavor towards fighting fat stigma and honoring the bodies that all of us have regardless of their shape, color, size, age, weight or ability.