BLACK, INDIGENOUS, AND POC ONLY: Is there a difference between white ppl saying or doing something racist and them “being a racist”. Can you/do you have friends/associates who are racist or “say racist things”?

[Non-BIPOC: Feel free to read. But no comments, please.]

I mean, I had friends who said racist things and I wanted to believe they weren’t racist. They’re grown now and most are doing genuinely good things and appear pretty thoughtful. But if they’re not thoughtful or even if they are...do they still believe the things they said?

Tbh, I think that’s what concerns me when public figures say things that offer a “whiff of racism” (if that’s a thing). They don’t see who’s harmed by their words and they clearly don’t care. I find myself looking around at the folks in my life wondering - are you ok with that?

I find it hard enough to manage all the racist things going on now that it’s almost too tiring to hold ppl acctble for racism from a long time ago. But it all combines to make me super suspicious/hesitant. Especially when I’m alone or in spaces where systemic racism is prevalent.

Anyway, I was seeing a group of white folks discuss this and it was kind of troubling. So I wondered if any BIPOC folks had some thoughts to offer or add. No pressure, of course.

This kind of conversation actually makes me super anxious so if you come back and this thread is gone, I panicked.