A THREAD

A good friend asked me a question that made me really reflect on my weightloss journey a little deeper

He asked how did I gain the discipline to be consistent. Not just with food and exercise, but how did I teach myself how to apply discipline to my whole life?

Usually my answer is something like:

“I just make a routine, make the lifestyle I’m trying to live habitual rather than a chore”

But this time I dug a little deeper.

Tbh, to reach my goals, I had to stop lying to myself

My ENTIRE life I was putting on a front

Not like I was actively lying to people; but I wasn’t honest with myself about who I was, what I wanted out of my life, and what I need to be fulfilled

I convinced myself that I was and wanted to be someone I wasn’t and not built to be

I’d look at other people’s goals, successes, traits, etc and because it looked good or they looked happy , I’d tell myself that that’s what I should be

I let other people’s expectations of me or other people become my expectations of myself

So boom, its 2017, I’m 315 pounds, a mediocre Biology student, and can’t figure out why I’m not happy no matter how hard I’m trying to reach these goals

Every weightloss attempt? Fail
Every academic effort? Fail

But I was trying so hard

Then I realized. I’ve been lying to myself for my entire life

I couldn’t lose weight because rather than recognizing who I am and what is best for me, I convinced myself that I’m someone else that society/parents/IG/etc expected me to be

All my effort was tailored to not-me

So I took time towards the end of my junior year of undergrad and posed these questions to myself

Who are YOU?
How do YOU learn?
What makes YOU fulfilled?
What type of lifestyle complements YOUR natural personality and behaviors?

The answers changed My life forever

Those answers helped me recognize that my approach to life was an approach that would never actually work for me.

So...
I changed my career path
I changed my approach to weightloss

Now I’m 120 pounds down and finishing my Masters program this week

Guess the whole point of this rant is,

If you’re wondering why you seem to never reach your goals no matter how much effort you’re putting in,

make sure you are actually setting goals based on who YOU are and what YOU need.

We gotta stop lying to ourselves before anything

I love you