Imposter syndrome is a frustrating thing. I want to talk a little about it. For the last 72 hours I have felt a crushing sense of guilt about my existence in the legal profession. I feel guilty about sending Charter notice to Crown because I feel like I'm doing something wrong.

I'm not. I'm writing about something that I know, based on my review of the file. I'm sharing the law as explained in cases that I have read and argued. I identify points in the evidence to support my position. But still - the guilt.

I feel guilty when I'm participating in meetings for organizations that I'm a part of. I don't feel like I don't belong, but I feel like everything I'm saying is wrong and that I look like an idiot.

This happens to me every once in a while. I don't really know if it's imposter syndrome, since I don't feel like an imposter. I just feel like I'm doing something inherently wrong by doing what I do every day in my profession.

And it's really hard because the things that we all have to deal with - anonymous men emailing naysayer things and calling you names (yes, this happens a lot) - affect me more and increase my feelings of guilt and anxiety. Which is of course what they want.

So I feel guilty about giving them what they want, by feeling guilty because of what they wrote in their anonymous hate mail.

And the timing is always the worst. I never feel like this when there's nothing happening in my life. It always happens when things are going well. Like now - I'm running a campaign to be elected Bencher but also feeling guilty because maybe I'd be the WORST Bencher.

I want to be excited about my nominations for Top 25 Most Influential, but instead I feel guilty that I was nominated and guilty asking people to vote for me, and guilty for not supporting more people who have also been nominated.

Anyway, I know this is all manufactured in my brain and in a few days it will disappear. But it sucks sometimes and I just wanted people to know how self-defeating imposter syndrome is and how it can take some different forms than what you may think.