I am obsessed with this absolutely unhinged French Quarter apartment listing that just popped up on Tulane Classifieds

Just when I think I’ve got a handle on what’s going on here I notice another completely insane detail that makes me feel like I’m high on laudanum

Of course no real estate listing is complete without a 4-screenshot long description written by a clearly insane person

I would risk entering this apartment and being cursed for life to learn what’s behind this roped off area

Kitchen essentials: oddly placed TV, inexplicable small chandelier, vintage arcade game

Don’t forget the passive aggressive microwave labels and large crystal bottle of what I hope is Creme de Menthe!

This looks like a room in a Kate Bush song about a sad woman who dies of acute incense smoke inhalation

I simply MUST know more about this strange over-the-bed-canopy fabric situation

Some googling has revealed that the arcade game in the upstairs bedroom is about a clown named Mr. Do! Totally not creepy. Absolutely nothing sinister about that at all.

I just realized this apartment has the same energy of this AI generated photo of non-objects

Two things: 1) what the hell is this small screen at the foot of the bed, and 2) oh my god that extension cord situation is going to burn down the entire French Quarter

The listing was deleted from Tulane Classifieds (for the second time!) but luckily I took a screenshot of the bathroom before that happened. Obviously this apartment comes stocked with red towels and washcloths.

Unfortunately I did not screenshot the other photo of the bathroom which reveals a shocking twist — the shower tile is blue