Unpopular opinion: children of immigrants need to stop putting "my parents crossed the border so I could cross the stage" on insta posts and grad caps. Y'all think it's hella inspirational. It's not. It completely erases the trauma, labor, and experiences immigrants went through.

It also glorifies those who went to college, perpetuating classism. College is not for everyone and that's okay. It also ignores the systemic barriers immigrant communities, especially BIPOC folks have to deal with that inhibit many from going to college.

When I see those caps and posts, I think of capitalism, individualism, and erasure of immigrant voices. Just bc your parents are immigrants, doesn't mean you get to share their story and center it on you. How selfish.

I also think of Olympics of Suffering. Like they have to be sacrificed so you could get the cake.

I am an immigrant. We didn't cross the border so I could cross the stage. We crossed the border so our family wouldn't be separated. My dad was working in the U.S. bc our family farming business in Mexico was affected by the cheaper exports from the U.S. due to NAFTA.

My parents didn't have in mind that we'd go to college. We were on survival mode. If my siblings that were born in the U.S. ever decorate their grad cap using that quote, imma call them out. My kids too. Alfonso and I are immigrants, but our migration stories are not the same

I don't want someone to use my migration story as an inspiration to why they did good bc often the white supremacist barriers aren't acknowledged and folks don't accept that not everyone wants to live a life climbing the capitalistic ladder.

Do things for yourself without needing to always share immigrant's stories and suffering as an explanation to your success.

And if you're hella offended, please sit with that discomfort and acknowledge your privilege. Yea maybe your parents wanted a better life for you, but at what expense? Don't they deserve to also have dreams for themselves? Are you really honoring your parents with your degrees?

How has your degree changed you (for better or worse)? How are you going to use that capital that you have with this degree to answer why the immigrant community is facing health, education, housing, etc. barriers? How are you going to pass the microphone to immigrants?

You know what this is? Inspiration porn. For reals, some of y’all love to see people’s suffering and hearing some feel good story. I think higher education has a way of objectifying someone’s suffering or trauma as a way of inspiration. I fell into this trap

As much as I used to say that my degree was for my family and all the ones that couldn’t make it, I truly only went to college for myself. I went to college to escape machismo. To escape rural Iowa. To find doors that a rural town in Iowa did not have to offer me.

It took me years to understand that it wasn't bad to be selfish and want something else, but higher education has a way of objectifying someone’s suffering or trauma as a way of inspiration. I fell into this trap. I thought that I was only defined by my identities of suffering

I used to say “I am my ancestor’s wildest dreams” and now understand how problematic it is. I am my wildest dreams, but not theirs.

My ancestors were not dreaming of working at a PWI, they were dreaming of other things. Not even my parents dreamed that this is what college would do to me. They aren't happy that I am the womxn I am today. They tell me all this.

"Solo porque tienes tus diplomas, no significa que eres más chingona". That is a hard pill to swallow for many of us, but it's the truth.

My parents don't understand me, but that doesn't mean I am going to exclude them from my experiences. When I can, I explain to them what it's like to navigate higher ed being a Mexicana. In fact, they've provided me funds of knowledge to survive. I can't forget that.

You can be proud of your accomplishments and acknowledge your parent's hard work, but not necessarily romanticize your family's migration story.

Words from my amiga Marie:
"Until our degrees are used to changed the lives and challenges other immigrants face in this country to me it's worth nada but personal escape. This society is obsessed with heroism and some narratives.

Struggling is glorified. Struggle should be acknowledged but not used as a badge of honor"

She also said "We get degrees yet remain slaves to the system . How is that for our ancestors wildest dream? Puhlease"

I am getting tweets that I am generalizing immigrants. Look, take it how you want to take it, pero first, acknowledge classism, racism, and capitalism. Sit with your discomfort and truly ask yourself why do I feel so offended with this thread?

Have you ever had a conversation with your parents about their experience crossing the border? It is traumatizing af. No matter how they arrived... Some parents don't even want to talk about it, so why do you feel like you can romanticize their story and share it?

Folks telling me to "stfu" especially men, DON'T EVER TRY TO SILENCE AN INDIGINOUS WOMXN. Re-read the post. Be open, try to understand this point of view. You don't have to accept it, but you also don't need to be violent and cuss me out just bc it's not what you agree with.

If your siblings don't cross the stage bc they chose not or experienced barriers that led them not to graduate from high school or college, are they seen as the bad kids and you as the good kid in your family? Have you thought of that?