how I went from showing my fringe to covering my whole head of hair: a

I feel like no one acc cares but I genuinely do get a lot of DMs so I’m just gonna leave this here to send to the girls that do reach out

FIRST OF ALL: I’ve been wearing hijab since year 6/7 and for years I never showed even the tiniest baby hair. literally no hair could be seen even with a magnifying glass until I moved schools in year 13

year 13 is where it became a struggle for me to even keep the hijab on. I moved from a predominantly white area with no other Muslims to a much more diverse area and a lot of the girls at my new school wore half hijab

the first few months were fine, I coped with it, I even wondered why these girls showed their hair. but then I started to get acne :( it wasn’t that bad but it affected my mental health really badly. it sounds stupid but I would cry every night

my sisters jus used to tell me it’ll go away but I felt SO ugly wallahi you guys don’t understand how much I hated myself and how hard it was for me to look at my own reflection. all the girls at my new school had perfect skin and I felt so clapped compared to them omg flashback

I ended up loosening my hijab a bit. idk why but in that school environment every1 always had their cameras out, snapchats at the ready and I always hated seeing myself next to these other much more beautiful girls so one day I just switched it up and pushed my hijab back

almost immediately a bunch of girls were snapping me heart eye emojis etc and even irl they started complimenting me bc I basc became more like them and I really felt like I fit in (this is so sad & dramatic sorry)

anyways i told myself I’ll wear it properly soon but kept putting it off until I was at the point where I felt like my hijab was useless and a hindrance to my life (astaghfirullah)

I was SO far gone, I truly genuinely considered just offing the whole thing :( but I kept it on for the sake of my mum. i started posting selfies on insta and got big almost overnight and then of course came the ‘take the hijab off’ comments from both men and women

if it wasn’t for my mum I honestly might have just listened to those people and taken it off and I would have regretted it for the rest of my life. that sin also would have lay with everyone who commented those things so pls think before u speak

I got a dm off a girl one night. she told me she loves my hijab and she wants to wear one. I of course encouraged her but then to my dismay she sent me a picture with some of her hair showing in her hijab and called me her inspiration

I almost cried honestly, because what should have been a beautiful moment between me and a young girl who looked up to me was ruined by my own stupid decision to push my hijab back. I messaged her and told her she should do better than me and wear her hijab correctly

but honestly, who was I to advise her like that when I couldn’t even wear it correctly myself? the next day for the first time in a year and a month or so I put the hijab on properly and posted a pic. I was scared ngl bc I have a very round face and my insta-

is purely aesthetics based but the thought that other girls could be influenced me just made me feel so bad that I had to change the way I wore it.

you don’t have to be an influencer to be a bad role model to other girls, I changed my hijab style bc it was the norm at my school, so imagine how many girls have seen you and copied your hijab style? pls I’m telling you this for your own sakes and out of love-

please wear your hijab properly or at least try to make it your intention to get there when you are in the right mindset InshaAllah. May Allah make it easy for you. I still have a lot to improve on too so make dua for me! I hope this helped, I’m happy to answer dms x

moral of the story, it was a strangers pure heart and kindness that brought me back to observing hijab without showing hair, not the comments that belittled me or made me feel like I deserved less respect bc of my hijab style.

moral of the story part 2: you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing to fit in, be yourself. also whether you like it or not you are an influencer to the young girls in your life and the random girls you walk past on a daily basis, be the best role model you can

Also shoutout to @luren_parry the only person who I could talk to about how disgusting I felt, she always made me feel pretty no matter how bad my skin got

if u got to the end of this thread please check out my fundraiser May Allah relieve your hardships and struggles and grant you Jannah ameen https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/kalsumaorphans2020

a lot of you are asking for a skincare tutorial, this is what I used to calm my acne down. it’s much better now, but I do get one or two small spots every now and then. (Don’t use Niacinamide and Vit C at the same time!)