Because my timeline is full of Aragorn / Legolas takes, I present:
Which Lord of the Rings character are you really, based on your horoscope?
Which Lord of the Rings character are you really, based on your horoscope?
Aries (3/21-4/19): Boromir
- Brave, passionate, tenacious
- I'm sorry, why are we not talking about Gondor, and by Gondor I mean me
- Inherently good guy who will nevertheless punch a tree for no reason other than it is Tuesday
- Brave, passionate, tenacious
- I'm sorry, why are we not talking about Gondor, and by Gondor I mean me
- Inherently good guy who will nevertheless punch a tree for no reason other than it is Tuesday
Taurus (4/20-5/20): Sam
- Would really rather be at home gardening
- We said we were going to Mordor, if I have to carry you up this mountain my Damn Self then so help me
- Can tell you four hundred ways to cook potatoes
- Would really rather be at home gardening
- We said we were going to Mordor, if I have to carry you up this mountain my Damn Self then so help me
- Can tell you four hundred ways to cook potatoes
Gemini (5/21-6/21): Saruman
- Deeply charming, very wise, sociable, generally delightful to be around
- Oh
- Oh wait hang on
- Whoops now he's evil and you're trapped on the roof asking a moth for help
- Deeply charming, very wise, sociable, generally delightful to be around
- Oh
- Oh wait hang on
- Whoops now he's evil and you're trapped on the roof asking a moth for help
Cancer (6/22-7/21): Frodo
- Homebody, a bit of a hoarder
- Will punch God in the face for their loved ones
- Designated Moping Hours
penciled into each day
- When faced with conflict, tends to diminish and go into the West
- Homebody, a bit of a hoarder
- Will punch God in the face for their loved ones
- Designated Moping Hours

- When faced with conflict, tends to diminish and go into the West
Leo (7/23-8/22): Lobelia Sackville-Baggins
- Oh come on guys you know I'm right
- Will steal your spoons right from under your nose, she deserves them
- Absolutely fabulous, a basic bitch could never
- Oh come on guys you know I'm right
- Will steal your spoons right from under your nose, she deserves them
- Absolutely fabulous, a basic bitch could never
Virgo (8/23-9/22): Galadriel
- The Mom Friend
- Always has gum, kleenex, and lembas bread in her bag, just in case
- Why be average when you could be A QUEEN, NOT DARK BUT BEAUTIFUL AND TERRIBLE AS THE DAWN, TREACHEROUS AS THE SEA
- The Mom Friend
- Always has gum, kleenex, and lembas bread in her bag, just in case
- Why be average when you could be A QUEEN, NOT DARK BUT BEAUTIFUL AND TERRIBLE AS THE DAWN, TREACHEROUS AS THE SEA
Libra (9/23-10/22): Treebeard
- Side?? I am on nobody's SIDE, because nobody is on MY side
- Not lazy so much as sort of actually rooted to the ground
- Sure, balance and harmony, but also I will throw your entire tower into the fire pits
- Side?? I am on nobody's SIDE, because nobody is on MY side
- Not lazy so much as sort of actually rooted to the ground
- Sure, balance and harmony, but also I will throw your entire tower into the fire pits
Scorpio (10/23-11/21): Aragorn
- InTeNsE
- Powerful sexual energy
- Sitting in the corner, wearing a hooded cloak, pinching out candle flames for the Aesthetic
- Get in, losers, we're going to meet the King of the Dead
- InTeNsE
- Powerful sexual energy
- Sitting in the corner, wearing a hooded cloak, pinching out candle flames for the Aesthetic
- Get in, losers, we're going to meet the King of the Dead
Sagittarius (11/22-12/21): Legolas
- Idealistic and adventurous
- Straightforward and blunt to the point that I honestly have questions for the writers
- Prone to disappearing into the woods with a bow and arrow for several hundred years
- Idealistic and adventurous
- Straightforward and blunt to the point that I honestly have questions for the writers
- Prone to disappearing into the woods with a bow and arrow for several hundred years
Capricorn (12/22-1/19): Bilbo
- Patient, practical, down-to-earth
- Loyal to a fault, even if you break all their dishes
- Tries not to hoard things or be suspicious, but
- now it comes to it, I don't feel like parting with it, it's MINE I TELL YOU IT CAME TO ME
- Patient, practical, down-to-earth
- Loyal to a fault, even if you break all their dishes
- Tries not to hoard things or be suspicious, but
- now it comes to it, I don't feel like parting with it, it's MINE I TELL YOU IT CAME TO ME
Aquarius (1/20-2/18): Pippin
- Oh my funky lil bud what is you doing
- Everybody's best friend
- Just lay back, smoke some pipeweed, and chill, man, it's cool
- Oh my funky lil bud what is you doing
- Everybody's best friend
- Just lay back, smoke some pipeweed, and chill, man, it's cool
Aaand Pisces (2/19-3/20): Gandalf
- Drops a piece of absolutely earth-shattering wisdom
- And then fucks off for 6-8 months
- Returns on a fancy horse wearing a fabulous new robe
- Honestly none of their behavior makes sense but it's easier to roll with it
- Drops a piece of absolutely earth-shattering wisdom
- And then fucks off for 6-8 months
- Returns on a fancy horse wearing a fabulous new robe
- Honestly none of their behavior makes sense but it's easier to roll with it