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Dusted off the Corinthian figures 1996 England squad. Going back-to-front, starting with ol’ Safe Hands.
David Seaman, GK.
Luxuriant tash spot on. Psychedelic jersey completely ignored, presumably because the painters decided life is too short. 8/10
#Euro96Relived
David Seaman, GK.
Luxuriant tash spot on. Psychedelic jersey completely ignored, presumably because the painters decided life is too short. 8/10
#Euro96Relived
Gary Neville, full-back.
Not the most flattering – or even halfway recognisable – of likenesses for @GNev2, who by then had 10 caps and might have expected more. Mouth agape at how far standards have fallen after a strong start. For the hair alone, it’s 3/10
#Euro96Relived
Not the most flattering – or even halfway recognisable – of likenesses for @GNev2, who by then had 10 caps and might have expected more. Mouth agape at how far standards have fallen after a strong start. For the hair alone, it’s 3/10
#Euro96Relived
Stuart Pearce, full-back.
Good luck finding an image of Psycho-not-screaming after converting his pen versus Spain when you tap his name and ‘Euro 96’ into Google. A calmer iteration, this. And creeping back towards Seaman-levels of look-a-likey accuracy. 7/10
#Euro96Relived
Good luck finding an image of Psycho-not-screaming after converting his pen versus Spain when you tap his name and ‘Euro 96’ into Google. A calmer iteration, this. And creeping back towards Seaman-levels of look-a-likey accuracy. 7/10
#Euro96Relived
Tony Adams, centre-back, 
Well, I guess they got the enormous conk about right and the rest sort of fell into place from there. 7/10
#Euro96Relived
Well, I guess they got the enormous conk about right and the rest sort of fell into place from there. 7/10
#Euro96Relived
Gareth Southgate, centre-back.
How good was Southgate vs Switzerland? This figurine, however, is Neil Ruddock. The now England manager wasn’t model material. Bafflingly, the overweight, overrated, over-the-hill and over-the-top in every tackle ‘Razor’ was. 0/10
#Euro96Relived
How good was Southgate vs Switzerland? This figurine, however, is Neil Ruddock. The now England manager wasn’t model material. Bafflingly, the overweight, overrated, over-the-hill and over-the-top in every tackle ‘Razor’ was. 0/10
#Euro96Relived
Paul Ince, centre-midfield.
The Guvnor arguably cuts an even more handsome shape as a figurine. Am I right in saying England never lost a game (excluding pens) when him and Gazza started together in the middle? Let’s say yes. 9/10
#Euro96Relived
The Guvnor arguably cuts an even more handsome shape as a figurine. Am I right in saying England never lost a game (excluding pens) when him and Gazza started together in the middle? Let’s say yes. 9/10
#Euro96Relived
Paul Gascoigne, centre-midfield.
Bearing little resemblance to the dentist’s chair enthusiast who ambled through the Dutch defence whenever he chose – the bleach as much a surprise to Corinthian as it was to Jack Charlton. Yet still recognisably Gazza. 7/10
#Euro96Relived
Bearing little resemblance to the dentist’s chair enthusiast who ambled through the Dutch defence whenever he chose – the bleach as much a surprise to Corinthian as it was to Jack Charlton. Yet still recognisably Gazza. 7/10
#Euro96Relived
Darren Anderton, right-midfield.
Almost boringly accurate, all the way up to the top-heavy mop. So let’s instead recall that delightful Spurs corner kick routine with Sheringham vs Switzerland and how-how-how did he hit the post in the semi-final? 8/10
#Euro96Relived
Almost boringly accurate, all the way up to the top-heavy mop. So let’s instead recall that delightful Spurs corner kick routine with Sheringham vs Switzerland and how-how-how did he hit the post in the semi-final? 8/10
#Euro96Relived
Steve McManaman, left-midfield.
He must have been modelled, but regretfully I don’t have Macca at the peak of his take-em-on powers. So here, instead, is Barry Venison. A gorgeous curiosity. 10/10
#Euro96Relived
He must have been modelled, but regretfully I don’t have Macca at the peak of his take-em-on powers. So here, instead, is Barry Venison. A gorgeous curiosity. 10/10
#Euro96Relived
