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my experience with adhd: a thread
listen i know adhd is pretty common but if i see One More Bitch on tiktok say something like "oh! sorry i zoned out just then, i& #39;m so adhd hehe!" i& #39;m going to flip my shit.
i& #39;m almost 17, i was diagnosed with adhd at 7. so for nearly a decade i& #39;ve been labeled "the adhd kid" (by my own family nonetheless) and it& #39;s not fun. it& #39;s not just zoning out and being absentminded.
there will be mentions of medication, appetite loss, appetite gain, weight loss, weight gain, depression, anxiety, hypersomnia, and insomnia from here out. if any of these things trigger you, please keep your health in mind and make the best choice for yourself!!
i started taking medications as soon as i was diagnosed, i went through so many. some made me have such a big appetite, i was eating like five full meals a day at 7. others made me have little to no appetite, i would go like 48 hours without eating and would only eat of my
mom made me. i had medications that made me super sleepy. i remember i was on one in the fifth grade and i kept falling asleep during quiet reading time, my teacher called my mom to come get me and i wasn& #39;t allowed to sit in any covered space and read any more
that same medicine made me sleep through a day trip to my brother& #39;s (3 hours away). i slept the entire car ride, napped for two hours when we got to his apartment, napped for another hour when we got done exploring his town, and slept all three hours home
i had medicines that would zombifiy me. my mom never noticed but i did. i wasn& #39;t just calmer, i was TOO calm, incapable of feeling really. i would hyperfocus on one thing and only that. i was hardly happy at all, and i just didn& #39;t /feel/ like myself
it was like that until about eighth grade (i was about 13). i finally convinced my mom and doctor to take me off of my meds. i explained to them how none of the meds were working and i was tired of experimenting. i even went to the point of stopping taking my meds
without my mom noticing to see if she noticed the difference. she didn& #39;t, i had almost mastered the art of acting calm, /normal/. it had been like three months since i had last taken a pill at this point, so they agreed to take me off as a rest trial.
now, in sixth grade (at 11) i was diagnosed with "major depressive disorder" by a therapist. so things were already not so great, combine that with the adhd and i was having mood swings like it was no one& #39;s business. i was always like that (still am)
i would throw tantrums when i didn& #39;t get my way but get over it almost immediately because something else caught my eye. i was so easily irritated (still am, shocker) i mean if you BREATHED too hard or tapped a pencil near me i would snap
i was almost always made to sit alone in elementary school because i HATED when other kids would tap their pencils but i would tap mine nonstop, it wasn& #39;t something i really controlled. i felt an impulse to move, so i did.
i felt an impulse to make a weird noise? kay lemme just wheeze during this vocab quiz, no biggie.
i mean i remember being so easily irritated that i single handedly got gum banned from my class one time (i think) because i got tired of the smacking (if you smack your gum, i& #39;m Going to Smack Your Face)
i mean with the adhd and depression came the sensitivity issues, bUt then when i was in eighth grade (again, 13) i was diagnosed with anxiety (shocker) which made sense when you factored in my sensitivity issues
i& #39;ve always beem sensitive, not jusy emotionally. sounds, textures, even the Thought of things would freak me out. like i hate squelching sounds (even the word is gross), smacking, aggressive tapping, heavy breathing, and lots of other things
and texture wise? my mom had to turn my socks inside put because if the seams touched my toes i freaked the hell out. tags had to be cut off, no turtlenecks, tulle, tight sleeves, or elastic sleeves.
i mean even now my sensitivity issues are pretty bad, granted they& #39;re getting better. i could put on a pair of denim jeans right now and be perfectly fine, but tomorrow i could put the same exact pair of jeans on and my legs would be on FIRE. i mean they would itch and burn
like my legs would physically burn, like the sensation you get after sunburn. and they would itch like fire ants were all over me. i still can& #39;t wear shirts close to my neck or tight sleeves, it& #39;s too restricting. and if i& #39;m in a sour mood?
leave me at home, it will be HELL trying to find clothes that feel fine. eventually i& #39;ll settle back on black leggings and a gray tshirt ive had since seventh grade. (my comfort clothes.)
but i mean multiple things play into my issues, adhd being one of them. part of coming off of my meds was me letting my depression take over enough to steal all of my energy so i would calm down (not that i& #39;m gonna let my mom know that& #39;s what happened bc she WILL beat my ass)
please don& #39;t thing adhd is just zoning out. there& #39;s mood swings, irritation, depression, anxiety, memory loss (like forgetting everything you did yesterday). and yeah, just forgetting what you were just doing (ngl i forgot where this thread was going)
but adhd is still a mental illness and should be treated as such! it& #39;s not "omg!! i& #39;m so adhd lol, i forgot what i was going!" so Please stop treating it like that. anyways here& #39;s a Totally Reliable Source
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