I’m just gonna come out and say it:

I don’t miss work.

I miss aspects of it. The people, my regulars, seeing the new books come in every day.

But I definitely don’t feel like I am adequately compensated for the time I give.

This quarantine has helped me realize how short a day really is, and how much of it I devote to work. It’s not an 8 hour shift. It’s over 11 hours.

It’s 45 minutes to get ready in the morning, 45 minutes to commute and get breakfast, then 8 hours with a 1hr lunch, and another 45 minutes to get home.

Then, cooking dinner.

By the time I’m done with the dishes and I’m sitting, I get maybe 5 hours to myself.

That’s nothing.

100% of my time during this has been for myself. I’ve caught up on reading and TV, played some new games I’ve been looking forward to, finished some birthday gifts.

I’ve created, written, and invested my time in me.

There have been some truly horrifying rough patches. It hasn’t been smooth sailing. Some stuff happened with my family that has left me with lasting mental trauma that I’m going to be working through for a while.

Thank god I was not at work while dealing with the immediate aftermath of that.

I’m not sure what would have happened.

I go back tomorrow for my first “shift” in over a month. We’re going to slowly open back up. I am terrified. But I’m going, because I’ve never been able to build up a safety net to adequately let me say “hey, let’s take some more time off and keep the people I care about safe.

I don’t know where this thread went but. I’ll tell you this.

I don’t miss work.